Thursday, June 21, 2012

Out of the Dungeon - There's Always Someone Guarding the Road or How to Not let You Alcoholic Minotaur Lose His Battle with Mead

It's Dungeons and Dragons story time (again) kiddies!  Gather around and let Patches the Bard tell you a tale about D&D and a little concept called "free will" when gaming. . . . and barrels of booze. . . .
Why does it seem that most my D&D experiences come from barrels?

Once upon a time (AKA a few months ago) my fellow party members and I were wandering down a trail in the forest, heading home after a long adventure in a cave involving a math mix-up, dark rooms for even those with low-light vision, and an angel that got all emotional with us.  We were tired and ready to reap the spoils of turning in our found items for rewards beyond our imaging.  There was one problem, our path was blocked by thieves and mind you these were some of the dumbest thieves I've ever encounter.  Bless their pathetic souls, though, because they still tried to take a "toll" from us.  Having a less than good natured group, we quickly took to fighting instead of paying and spent the remainder of the game bottle necked with these annoying bastards. We eventually took care of them and Zoob, our groups minotaur,  took to looting the thieves camp.  We didn't find much aside from a box we couldn't open (I don't talk about that box anymore because boxes have been known to make players cranky)  and some barrels of mead.  Zoob decided he was going to drink it....all of it....

(You should be reacting right now the same way you would if a 3 year old was about to put a plastic bag on their head)

We all tried to advise Zoob against this, but it was late and I guess he had nothing better to do.  Zoob drank a large portion of the mead and continued to sip as we walked.  Needless to say he got drunk, really fast.  I tried to slow him down by stealth-ing beneath him and making a small hole in the barrel, but that didn't help much considering he had already drank most of it. So we now had a drunk minotaur stumbling around and making an authentic ass out of himself....great!

 We decided to set up a nice, little camp in the hope that some sleep would do ANYTHING to help Zoob's condition.  It wasn't long into our watch that we were attacked (again!) by another group of thieves.  This time, the group was lead by one of the surliest of lady's I've ever met.  Long story short, I was playing an Avenger/Shifter and I attempted to charge this lady while on a cliff.  Now you'd think with an ability like my Oath of Enmity....Pronounced Like so....

....that I'd actually be able to hit the bitch?  Well, luck decided not to be on my side that day, and I ended up hanging off of a cliff.

Zoob was taking dramatic penalties to his attacks due to the fact that,

1.) He could barely stand
2.) He could barely move

It took a very long time and we were almost killed on more than one occasion, but we made it out alive.

As you can imagine, the players were pissed at Zoob for his decision.  I honestly thought it was a little annoying though I saw the humor in it.  I like it when people break up combat with something they create or do to make the game feel more interactive.  Sure, it can mess up a perfect game plan and almost get you killed, but that variety keeps things fresh and from becoming....

Nerd 1: I use "Blood for Strength". (Pushes up glasses)
Nerd 2: (Snorts) Give me a roll.
Nerd 1: (Rolls) 12 vs. AC
Nerd 2: (Evil laugh) Miss!  You die!

You see where that can get tedious and boring!?  I think the real goal with D&D is to find that balance between playing the attacks and such given to you and incorporating your own ideas.  Free will can make this more interesting, but it can also get you into trouble if you mess up.  The more I think about it the more I realize that you run that risk no matter what you do, so maybe it's better to have fun and do whatever the hell you want along the way.  Perhaps it should more so be up to the DM?  I'm honestly on the fence about this.  What do you guys think?  Should Zoob have been allowed to drink all the mead even if I meant jeopardizing the game?  What would you have done if you were the DM?  I really have no conclusions to this story and I want to hear you input.

Until next time,


Monday, June 18, 2012

Thanks from a Fangirl - 1000 Views!!!!

Hello, hello all!  Today is a very special day because I've finally hit over 1000 views.  I know there are posts and videos out there that could easily run billions of laps around my humble, little blog but I am none-the-less thankful for all the support and love you wonderful people have brought me over the last several months.  I really thought for a time this blog was going nowhere fast, but now it's rapidly growing success is making all that hard work feel worth it.  I'm doing what I set out to do; I'm reaching out to fellow nerds and people curious about nerd culture and telling them what it's like. You've given a nerd girl a voice in a world where many nerd girls are hiding (I know I was for a LONG time) and now we are slowly getting a louder and bigger voice. You are all so magical and if it where possible, I'd come and hug all of you!

(>'')> <(''<)

 :Virtual Hug: >.<

Who knows that the future holds for your happy and humble Patchwork.  All I know is I've got some great people standing with me and I can't wait to see who I pick up next (Maybe a Tinman this time?)

As always, toodles!

PS: I want to do something special to celebrate.  Would you like to request a post? Ask me questions about myself?  Write what you want in the comments below and I'll make something happen!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Babbles of a Fangirl - I'm a Little Teapot!!!!'s been one of those days/weeks.  It seems that everything that could be stressful, is.  Go figure, right?  I was going to write a long post about D&D and minotaurs, but I just don't feel it right now.  maybe I should just go to bed right now (stayed up late enough watching a live broadcast of JonTron yesterday).  Wait....I have an idea.  There might just be a light at the end of the tunnel (no not death) because I've got an old trick. Whenever I need something calm and soothing to drink, I fire up the kettle, pull out my finest cup, and get to brewing some tasty tea! (Now excuse me why I go make a cup ^_^)
What? I was serious.
Ah...much better <3!  You know what?  This got me thinking about tea and now I want to tell you about the teas that I love.  Why?  Because too many tea parties as a little girl will do that to you.  So pull up your ties and pop on your top hats, because it's time to look at my favorite flavors of tea!

Almond Coconut Macaroon Tea
Say it five times fast!
Oh almond coconut macaroon....where have you been all my life?  No seriously.  I have been able to find this particular flavor at exactly ONE store and go figure, it's not the cheap place, but this is totally worth the price!  Given to me a Christmas gift (yes, I ask for tea for Xmas.  The ^cup^ above is also a gift from the same person...THANKS HONEY!) this tea has stolen my heart ever since.  Despite being a mouthful of a name, it is actually a quite subtle tasting tea.  The almond is the dominant flavor, giving you a warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven-cookie feel.  The coconut is not anywhere as potent as you'd think it be, providing a nice back flavor that perks up your taste buds.  If you are a fan of coconut, almonds, or just and adventurous tea drinker, this one will leave you with all smiles! =) <---like this!

Coconut Cocoa
How to I summarize this properly?  First off, I know it says cocoa, but it is no where near as muddy as cocoa.  You still get that watery texture that you find in tea.  Think of it as a much more subtle sister of the cocoa family.  Now as for the flavor, this is going to be simple for anyone above a rock to understand -- it taste like samoas.  YES, exactly what you are thinking.  This tastes like a liquid girl scout cookie.  If you love those cookies, you might go through this tin in a day.  If you hate those cookies, pass this one by.  Personally, I have to be in the right mood for this one because of it's dominate flavor, but that's just me!

My anti-drug
Cardamon Cinnamon
Oh, cardamon cinnamon, where would I be with out you?  Oh yes, curled up in a ball, still trying to figure out how to finish an entire semesters worth of project in one weekend.  Seriously, every time I'm stressed out my boyfriend says, "Go make a cup of tea." and I usually reach for this guy.  It's what I'm drinking in the picture above.  I'm not sure why, but there is something soothing about what I like to call a "cinnamon bomb" because it provides that spunky kick I often need to get my ass moving. This one is defiantly a pick-me-up kinda flavor, with that oh-so-sweet taste that reminds you that everything is going to be okay!

Spring Cherry Tea
Now we are tip-toeing into unfamiliar territory.  The next few teas are flavors I haven't tried, but would love to (who knows, maybe I'll make a tea-tasting video!) when the budget allows.  I love cherries.  It's always been my choice of sucker flavor and I can't get enough of chocolate flavored cherries during the holidays!  I would be more than happy to give this little guy a sip!  I'd imaging it's smooth and subtle, much like the petal of a cherry blossom gliding in the wind to gently brush your cheek.  <---See's poetry!  And crappy poetry at that!  Maybe this tea will help me with writing my poetry...or maybe it'll just make it worse.  Who knows!  But I'm willing to find out!
Shall hence be known as faint tea!
 Red Velvet Choco...WHAT?!? 
Tea that tastes like red velvet.....OMFG!  I'll take 8 gazillion please! I just, I...oh boy..Mother of Pinkamena Diane Pie...I just....
Woah....I think I blacked out for a second was I?  Oh let's just move on.
After all that, I think I might need a fresh cup of tea!  What do you think of some of the flavors discussed?  Are you willing to give it a try?  Know anything fun, adventurous, or tasty I should try?  Let me know.  For now, I will will contentedly nurture my mug with all the tea I can get.  Oh!  And the teas I discussed can be found at

It's worth every penny! 

Until next time, Toodles!


(Ps: I hear that there's been unicorn sightings in my neighborhood....has anyone else had similar incidents in their area?)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Babbles of a Fangirl - Nerdy Things to Do When Sick

Surprise, surprise!  With all the stress of helping with family weddings out of the way and recovering from my voice loss, you'd think I'd be back and ready for a consistent schedule of articles -- guess again kiddies!  After all of the hectic-ness in my life lately, I earlier this week had another addition to my annoyance....I threw-up, like, really bad.  Probably the only nerdy thing I report about that moment was that my boyfriend loyally sat by my side in the bathroom, rubbing my back and reading his "Game of Thrones" book.

So now I've spent far too much time curled up on my couch, watching more internet reviews than I'd ever like to admit and nurturing my copy of "The Last Unicorn".  Now I'm bored, really bored, and that's where all you lovely people come in!  I'm going to make a list of my nerdy things you can do when stuck in bed or on the couch because you are sick!  Have fun!

1. Play with legos

I can't be alone with this one -- I DEMAND not to be!  Do you ever find that when you are curled up on the coach with a TV tray in front of you, filled with hot soup and Sierra Mist, that you really just want to knock it off and fill it up with those adorable, rainbow blocks from you childhood?  Even if you can't sit up, breath, or hold down food at least you can use up your last bits of strength to press those darling little blocks into place so you can complete your Star Wars Tie Fighter or recreation of the epic D&D battle you did three weeks ago.  I know for sure than when I'm sick, being reminded of my carefree, childhood certainly livens my spirit and makes me feel like if I got through the chicken pox in kindergarten, I can get through this now.

The man that made this was bed-ridden for 6 was a wicked paper cut

If a sponge can do it, so can you!
2. Imagine a Videogame 

Okay, I can hear your arguments already.  "But Auntie Patches, it's easier to just play a videogame.", "Auntie Patches, imagining stuff is hard!", "Auntie Patches, you need to stay out of the happy pill cabinet." but hear me out first.  When I was a little girl I was obsessed with "The Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time" completely obsessed.  It was the only game I wanted to watch, I daydreamed about it, I drew pictures, I wrote stories.  Finally, I decided to break away from Hyrule and try something very risky: inventing my own videogame.  So I did. In my head I created levels, puzzles, the storyline, characters, action sequences (Some pretty dark for a 10 or 11 year old) and strung it all together.  Granted, I have no idea how to make a real videogame (graphics wise, I mean) but you know what?  Coming up with all the little details were so fun that I didn't need to play it.  I still have that game in my head, levels and all and I know that it's my own private game I can play anytime I want.   Not to mention, it helps that I don't have to press any buttons, a plus when you are sick and unable to move!

I couldn't agree more, Dash!
3. Write a Fanfiction
Why am I so certain that you are all boo-ing me for this choice?  Well, the word "fanfiction" is not known for inspiring the confidence of others in the world of writing or sanity.  I remember the first fanfiction I ever read about the band members of My Chemical Romance meet Criss Angel and after Brothers Gerard and Mikey kiss each other, Mikey gives Criss Angel his favorite demon rubber ducky. . . .

After that, I pretty much washed my hands of fanfiction.  It wasn't until my fairly recent My Little Pony obsession that I began to peek at that-which-must-not-be-read, because you know what?  Fanfiction can be fun!  Sure some of it can be weird!
85% of Bronies

Some of it can be creepy!
Dont worry "Cupcakes", I have a few words for you in the future....also, please don't hurt me!

But there is some fanfiction that despite it's poor writing and obvious fan service, is just fun and makes you smile.
And sometimes let's you live out your sick fantasies....JK!
My thought is, if you are sick and on the verge of death anyway, wouldn't you like someone to know that you secretly shipped The Nostalgia Chick and Todd in the Shadows long before anyone knew they were dating in real life?  When you are sick, laughter often helps leaps and bounds, so why not make yourself laugh at all the crap you can come up with about something you love anyway?  You will get a rush from nerding out and you will find yourself giggling at the crap you come up with.  Try this (and the other stuff previously mentioned) next time you're sick, you just might make yourself feel a whole lot better.  I know I am!


Babbles of a Fangirl - Wreck-it Ralph Trailer

Shut up...sit trailer....I....can't....breathe!

Did you watch it?  If not...get your tail feather back up there ^and watch it! If you did....GAH!  I'm already setting myself up for disappointment with this one, but how CANT I?  I think I'd watch this just to see the full scene where baddies like Bowser and Dr. Robotnik talk about their experiences as being gaming villains! This is everything that I've wanted to see in a game about video games, clever nods to the masters with bright colors, loud worlds, and a look at where games have started and where they are going.  You can bet I will be watching this one closely!

(And who knows, maybe this will inspire an animated Mario movie that ACTUALLY is faithful to the game!)

What did you think?  Are you happy/sad/mad/glad/uyad about this movie?  Do you think it will be a great wink at gamers or a shameful exploitation of characters we love?  Let me know!

In the words of a wise video game character, "What could possibly go wrong?"