Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A Very Important Question


Why is my pup so cute?  Thoughts? #WilliethePup





But seriously....where does the time go?  It's already the start of a new year!  This is going to be a big year for me and my family too. I am so close to the adventure of marriage becoming a reality for me!  That alone boggles my mind daily!  I feel like something big is coming this year.  Call it intuition or just blindly assuming I deserve big things simply because I hope for them. Either way, I am remaining positive.  Yeah, me positive, who'd-a-thunk it? I am so afraid of change and desperately welcoming it at the same time.  In short....UGH!  Life is rambling and confusing (Like this post!).  It is scary, new, and sometimes familiar.  Nothing stays the same.  Speaking of not staying the same, I have been thinking.  Now I know that's often dangerous, especially for me, but it seemed like it was time to really evaluate some things.  I started "The Patchwork Nerd" a few years ago as a safe place to discuss my nerdy ramblings.  It's been a great source for reviewing, venting, wishing, and connecting.  The past 2 years I have neglected it far more because of work and sheer laziness.  Maybe I've also neglected it because maybe, deep down, I've been moving in a different direction.  Don't get me wrong, I will always be a nerd.  That's not going away no matter how hard I try to cover is in skinny jeans and fake nails and other crap girls are supposed to like.  The thing is, I don't know where the direction is.  My second to last post focused on the idea of re-inventing myself and this blog.  I still have no answers.  I keep writing and writing, hoping a shinny "AH HA!" moment will rain down on me like divine light.  Part of me thinks I should just keep doing what I've always been doing and just have fun.  Another part of me wants to try something new.  As usual, I am in conflict with myself.  

I guess I want to make a new years resolution of sorts for my identity as the Patchwork Nerd....but I just don't know what goal to make.  Do I pledge to write more articles?  Do I vow to branch out and try new topics and material?  Do I start doing creative writing here like poems and short stories?  Do I finally start writing a novel?  Do I just plan to stop writing retrospective blogs that drone on and on and on and on?  I wish I knew what to do.  I could poll you all, but that's not fair.  I can't expect others to always find my answers.  I tend to lean on the crutch a bit too much.  Maybe my only goal will be to keep moving forward and trying.  

Perhaps....

Only time will tell.   

So in a very round about way, Happy New Years guys!  Take care and keep working hard.  I will keep trying to find my goal, my purpose, and my direction.  If only I could look two ways at once, right?

(I've been watching a LOT of Naruto lately) 

Tootles xoxo