Wreck-It Ralph

First off, I've reached over 3000 views! It's amazing how that managed to happen despite my absence. It just goes to show that I have some dedicated fans that never fail to make me smile! Thanks to you all poppets (yeah I'm in one of "those" moods) for sticking with me despite my lazy fingers.

Now....

ON TO WRECK-IT RALPH!

. . . .

I really struggled with what to say for this review because of my mixed personality. From the side of a reviewer I could see some flaws in this film (many steaming from it's trailer that aimed the plot of the movie in a far different direction than where is actually went), but from the view of a fangirl with both a passion for video games and cute, sugary concoctions (I promise I'll elaborate on that later) I was sucked into this game like all of us  zombified gamers have been known to do when a new Diablo game drops (Minus, perhaps the nerd rage at errors).

No disrespect meant, my man.
I freak out when my Amateur Surgeon 2 App does't work on my Iphone  

With all that said, I'm going to try my best to address both of my opinions, both as a reviewer and a gamer in hopes that I can reach some logical conclusion about how this movie ultimately made me feel and what you can expect it to do for you.

Let's start with the flaws of this movie to get all the negative energy out of the way. Well, maybe it's not fair for me to say this is going to be a negative critisim. Perhaps we are looking for the word frustrated. Having watched the trailer for this movie, I though Wreck-it Ralph was going to be about Ralph, a video game villain wanting more out of life (in true Disney fashion) and deciding to go to the game Heroes Duty (Every pun IS intended) and proving he can save the day. (SPOILERS AHEAD) Well that is exactly what this movie does, for about 10 minutes of it's runtime.

No, Ralph quickly overcomes the challenges of Heroes Duty (which really makes me question it's true difficulty for a game advertised to be a Super Meat Boy style grinder....my pun intended) and accidentally ends up in the almost sickeningly sweet racer game, Sugar Rush. It is in this game that we spend the majority of the movie. This is where my conflict comes in. I'm sure plenty of hardcore gamers went to this game expecting a solid tribute to video game nostalgia and were met with wacky worlds of original creation. Don't get me wrong, Sugar Rush certainly gave me the feel of Snowboard Kids if it was dipped in bubblegum and sprinkles. Still, I worried that some of the guys out there would be turned off by it's candy coated sentiment. I honestly would love to hear my male fan base's opinion on this setting choice. Ralph's main companion through the movie is an overly adorable little girl/glitch name Vanellope.

Okay...with all that said....my inner fangirl needs to come out and say this very clearly. This movie isn't perfect. It has a pretty predictable story and we all know exactly how it's going to end, but you know what? I LOVED it. Call me a girly girl if you need, but I adored Sugar Rush and would play it in a heart beat if it was a real game and/or if I had any skills in racer games. I loved Vanellope even when she could be a little annoying with her banter. I genuinely felt for her, a humble little glitch looking to belong, much like Ralph.

I also appreciated the subtle nods to the greats of games. I won't spoil them all for you (But please post all the cameos you noticed!) but it tickled me pink how much love and knowledge of games went into the background of this film. I'm sure that Sugar Rush was the better setting vs. Heroes Duty because parents would find it nonthreatening (less video game violence) and this movie would appeal to girls just as much as it does to boys.

If there is one thing I can really appreciate about this movie is that it could possible turn more girls on to video games. And in a society where more of us girls are slowly working over to the dark side, I couldn't be happier.

So over all, if you are looking to have simple, sugary fun this movie with hug your at your gamer core, if you are looking for a lot of deep substance with a fresh plot or non-stop video game intensity, this movie might not be your cup of tea.

Now for a change of pace, something ridiculously girly/warped to balance me out ^_^

(Would you love me any other way?)

Tootles Darlings!

Xo

Movie Musings - Brave

I'm working on it, Brave, I'm working on it

Where was THIS movie when I was growing-up?!?  Now before you say, "It was there, it was called 'Mulan'" I'd like you to lend me your ears and hang up your weapons.  Before I defend why I loved this movie, I'm going to point out everything I've heard against this movie.

1. It's not a very original story.
2. Pixar has done better

To address the first complaint, yes, this movie does have a more traditional plot.  Without spoiling anything, it has the typical heros quest adventure with a splash of girl power, something we've been seeing a lot from in the latest attempts at princess movies.  But this movie takes a traditional plot line and does it well, a feat that seems to allude movie makers on many an occasion.  It shows a heroes quest of not only a young girl, but of a strong-willed character.

Now as far as the argument that this is not Pixar's best work, I will admit that it is not the best on paper, but that doesn't mean this flick still can't pull at even the crankiest of heart-strings.  It's a movie about breaking tradition and finding your own way, a plot we see in many movies.  Do you know why we see this a lot?  Because it's relatable, especially for girls were the vast majority of our abilities comes from either breaking recent tradition or having ladies of the past do it for us.  It's nice to see a movie with a female lead, named Merida, that isn't trying to get the guy or even save the guy.  Yes, she is living in a world where she needs to get married whether she likes it or not and it does drive her early motivations, but as the story progresses it becomes like any story (with a male lead or not) about a PERSON trying to save the day.  Gender has nothing to do with her motivations, it's just something that gives her different obstacles than that of a male lead.

I've been known for being a movie snob, especially when a movie provides a simple or overdone story, but I've been known to melt this all away for one reason: if the story invokes my emotions.  I suddenly felt like that little girl I once was who dreamed of climbing mountains and fighting monsters.  I could insert myself into this story with ease and become a part of it.  This movie made me feel like I belonged, something many a disney movie didn't succeed at when I was a little hell-raiser. This is a story about a girl and her parents.

I think that's why I loved it so much.

Okay, not too get too personal, but I'm a young lady who knows (semi) what I want out of life.  I've always wanted to be a mother because I grew-up with the kindest, sweetest mom in the world who is ALWAYS there for me.  Do we sometimes have conflict?  Of course!  Do we at times drive each other crazy?  Understatement.  But my mom always  been there for me.  Brave hits me hard because it's really about parents trying to do what they think is best and learning to just let go and let their kids be.  This movie made me feel that struggle that parent go through and how, despite all it's misery, it is worth it to see your kids grow up and be happy.  Overall, this movie is a great tool for parents in developing strong relationships with their children.  It reminded me of how lucky I am to have my parents with all their wisdom and understand it and made me think about how that's exactly the type of parent I want to be. So when people say this is just another princess movie, I guess that's why I get offended.  It's a story about parenting cleverly wearing a princess costume.  Mix in a little girl power amongst some crazy beautiful, Celtic scenery and you make this gal rather happy. Seriously though, this movie is worth it for the visuals alone, the beautiful lessons learned are an added bonus.

So don't go into this movie judging it because it wears a crown, go to it because you are a blank slat, ready to learn.  You will be surprised.

Well, this has gone deeper down the rabbit hole than I intended!  Haha!  I hope you all didn't mind!  Commence throwing only spoons and feathers if you are annoyed.

Tootles!

PS: The crazy little brothers are ADORABLE....and probably what my own demons would look like someday (help me....)

Babbles of a Fangirl - Nerdy Things I Did While on Jury Duty

"What's this?"  The captain noted off of the radar, his cigarette hanging in disbelief out of the corner of this mouth.  He turned in his swivel chair so hard it that he had to plant his feet to the ground with firm smash. The men all raised their heads, ready for panic. He noted how suddenly young all of their faces looked.  
He readjusted his cigarette and sighed. "Men!" He bellowed.  "Braise yourselves!" 
And in that moment they all knew, praying to any of their gods would be futile.   It had returned.  The horror from out of the depths and nothing could stop it.


The Patchwork Nerd had made a new post.


Segway! 


So...uh....that bit up there is my very convoluted way of saying, "I'M BACK!"
Don't question it, okay?  You should expect worse from me by now.  With that said, it is finally time for me to kick things into gear and give you all what you want (or maybe don't want, but you're getting it anyway): here are the nerdy things I did during jury duty!


Caught-up on my Dungeons and Dragons Reading

Anyone who knows me has come to understand that I bring a book with me everywhere.  It's like my security blanket.  Awkward downtime, take out my book!  Waiting for something, take out my book!  Don't have any free-time, at least I have my book, just incase!  Sometime I bring too many books.  I will admit that there a at least 3 books in my backpack right now (Game of Thrones, How to Train Your Dragon, and The Last Unicorn).  I read multiple books at a time because I have a book for every mood.  Although if I don't finish Game of Thrones within the next year, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend will hide all the books I own until I do (he's in for a challenge).  Oh...am I babbling again?

SEGWAY! (<----this might become a regular thing)

What I'm trying to say is that I brought a lot of books with me to jury duty.  One of which was my Dungeons and Dragons: Heroes of the Feywild.  It's a lovely book and if you are a fan of D&D it really expands your knowledge of the world while helping you cultivate richer stories.  Go and read it!  If your just a fantasy fan, it will really inspire you and give you great story ideas!  

Knitting

The funny thing about jury duty is that you get a note pad during the court case.  The problem is, you don't get it back when you are done.  You can't take it out of the court room and it becomes evidence once the trial is over.  That means that I had to resist writing and doodling on blank paper.  ME denying blank paper a face.  It hurt a lot.  So when we got our breaks, I was desperate to do something, ANYTHING with my hands.  The problem was that it was too loud to do write anything deep (everyone talked a lot and I need silence to write) and drawing, I have found, always gathers too much attention.  I don't need anyone seeing the crap I draw.  So knitting was the perfect compromise.  It allowed me to be social with others (something I've been practicing) while keeping my hands busy.  I've been working on a scarf for a while now and thanks to my jury services, I'm almost done!

Not to mention it was a great conversation started (I'm trying to leave my corner more)

My Banter with Strangers

Keep reading, this will make sense in a bit

It's odd to think that jury duty, of all things, is the event that makes you realize just how much of a nerd you might be.  When you are in jury duty you are not allowed to discuss the case with anyone, this includes other members of the jury duty.  Now imagine, if you would, getting a break from court while you are on a jury.  For those of you who have never been on a jury what happens is a nice court attendant takes you back to this little room all tucked away from the rest of the court house.  It has two bathrooms and lots of coffee to prevent you from ever wanting to leave.  Now while in this little room, sipping your coffee and staring at the wall you might feel so inclined as to talk to your fellow jurors.  The only problem is that there's an elephant in the room.  A big, fat, stinking elephant that sits on the middle of the table and is catching up on this hobby of playing the spoons while burping the alphabet.  He's right there, and you have to ignore him.  This leads to small talk, lots and lots of small talk.  Sometimes VERY small talk just to keep  you from yelling out about the latest witness you saw.   

Now many of you don't know me personally so I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  I babble. . . A LOT.  I'm usually quiet around people I've never met before, but six days of sitting in a court room will really warm you up to the idea of talking about anything before you have to go back into a room where you can barely move a facial muscle, let alone talk.  The topics of our conversations were pretty normal, ranging from "What do you do?" to "Are you married?" ect...ect...ect...but by the 5th or 6th day people were either connecting with each other and coming up with the perfect thing to say to each other or grasping at straws.  There was one particular gentleman that was grasping for his dear life.  One day we were all sitting.  He wasn't talking (but you could tell he wanted to be) and I was knitting.  I happen to be wearing my dragon necklace that is gold.  The dragon has it's claws wrapped around a bright, blue marble, so it's very distinct.  He pointed to my necklace and said,

"That's a neat necklace."  Bless his soul you could see him trying to have a sense of humor as he said, "Is it a lucky dragon?"

I looked up from my knitting, placing my hands lovingly around the little dragon.  I smiled.  "I'm not sure.  But I wear it to most of my D&D games and it's always helped me not die."

Right away I wanted to smack myself. What did I just say?!?  Crap, he must think I'm crazy! I looked up at him.  He smiled but looked like he didn't know how to reply.  Okay, he only thinks I'm a little crazy.  I quickly went back to my knitting, my fingers flying to make it look like I was very busy.  

That's always been my problem with strangers or new people.  Most people look at me and say or think "Aww....she looks and sounds like she just stepped out of a Victorian Christmas card!  I'm sure she has pleasent things to say!"

And the funny thing is that I usually do, but every-so-often I say that one nerdy thing that makes people either stare blankly at me or think I'm freakin' awesome.  I'm glad to say I've learned to be proud of it and polite when the stares happen.  But I got to admit, that gentleman's face was pretty priceless. 

Well, that's it for now! 

Toodles!

Xoxo 

Babbles of a Fangirl - Nerdy Things to Do When Sick

Surprise, surprise!  With all the stress of helping with family weddings out of the way and recovering from my voice loss, you'd think I'd be back and ready for a consistent schedule of articles -- guess again kiddies!  After all of the hectic-ness in my life lately, I earlier this week had another addition to my annoyance....I threw-up, like, really bad.  Probably the only nerdy thing I report about that moment was that my boyfriend loyally sat by my side in the bathroom, rubbing my back and reading his "Game of Thrones" book.

So now I've spent far too much time curled up on my couch, watching more internet reviews than I'd ever like to admit and nurturing my copy of "The Last Unicorn".  Now I'm bored, really bored, and that's where all you lovely people come in!  I'm going to make a list of my nerdy things you can do when stuck in bed or on the couch because you are sick!  Have fun!

1. Play with legos

I can't be alone with this one -- I DEMAND not to be!  Do you ever find that when you are curled up on the coach with a TV tray in front of you, filled with hot soup and Sierra Mist, that you really just want to knock it off and fill it up with those adorable, rainbow blocks from you childhood?  Even if you can't sit up, breath, or hold down food at least you can use up your last bits of strength to press those darling little blocks into place so you can complete your Star Wars Tie Fighter or recreation of the epic D&D battle you did three weeks ago.  I know for sure than when I'm sick, being reminded of my carefree, childhood certainly livens my spirit and makes me feel like if I got through the chicken pox in kindergarten, I can get through this now.

The man that made this was bed-ridden for 6 months...it was a wicked paper cut

If a sponge can do it, so can you!

2. Imagine a Videogame 

Okay, I can hear your arguments already.  "But Auntie Patches, it's easier to just play a videogame.", "Auntie Patches, imagining stuff is hard!", "Auntie Patches, you need to stay out of the happy pill cabinet." but hear me out first.  When I was a little girl I was obsessed with "The Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time" completely obsessed.  It was the only game I wanted to watch, I daydreamed about it, I drew pictures, I wrote stories.  Finally, I decided to break away from Hyrule and try something very risky: inventing my own videogame.  So I did. In my head I created levels, puzzles, the storyline, characters, action sequences (Some pretty dark for a 10 or 11 year old) and strung it all together.  Granted, I have no idea how to make a real videogame (graphics wise, I mean) but you know what?  Coming up with all the little details were so fun that I didn't need to play it.  I still have that game in my head, levels and all and I know that it's my own private game I can play anytime I want.   Not to mention, it helps that I don't have to press any buttons, a plus when you are sick and unable to move!

I couldn't agree more, Dash!

3. Write a Fanfiction
Why am I so certain that you are all boo-ing me for this choice?  Well, the word "fanfiction" is not known for inspiring the confidence of others in the world of writing or sanity.  I remember the first fanfiction I ever read about the band members of My Chemical Romance meet Criss Angel and after Brothers Gerard and Mikey kiss each other, Mikey gives Criss Angel his favorite demon rubber ducky. . . .

After that, I pretty much washed my hands of fanfiction.  It wasn't until my fairly recent My Little Pony obsession that I began to peek at that-which-must-not-be-read, because you know what?  Fanfiction can be fun!  Sure some of it can be weird!

85% of Bronies

Some of it can be creepy!

Dont worry "Cupcakes", I have a few words for you in the future....also, please don't hurt me!

But there is some fanfiction that despite it's poor writing and obvious fan service, is just fun and makes you smile.

And sometimes let's you live out your sick fantasies....JK!

My thought is, if you are sick and on the verge of death anyway, wouldn't you like someone to know that you secretly shipped The Nostalgia Chick and Todd in the Shadows long before anyone knew they were dating in real life?  When you are sick, laughter often helps leaps and bounds, so why not make yourself laugh at all the crap you can come up with about something you love anyway?  You will get a rush from nerding out and you will find yourself giggling at the crap you come up with.  Try this (and the other stuff previously mentioned) next time you're sick, you just might make yourself feel a whole lot better.  I know I am!

Xoxo!

Tootles!

In Control - The Botchy Battle of the Dragonborn

I know I promised to deliver my thoughts of The Hunger Games as my next entry but a recent Dungeons and Dragons game has somewhat distracted me.  On Monday night my group met.  This was a special session as our usual playing date is Thursday nights.  The week before we had a very long session in which we only fought one dragonborn (that WOULDN'T DIE) and a few skill challenges.  Long story short the group was demanding some battles or a mutiny would be underway.

For the record, you'd turn and run if you saw this guy chasing you, too!

Our DM, being ever so compliant, accepted our request and scheduled a special Monday game to make up for lost battle time.  We all showed up, got out our sheets, and fired away.  Little did we know of the blood bath we were about to encounter.

Here's the set up.  Our group had previously killed a dragonborn who was recruiting locals into joining his cult.  After we got our information out of him and took him out, we went to the cult and had our thief do some quick record grabs so we could try to get to the bottom of things.  Our night started out with us leaving the cult, turning the corner, and BAM!  Before us stood the same dragonborn we had just killed, bandaged up and with a small army of 5 or 6 dragon borns.  We turned and ran into the nearest building, barring the door behind us.

 It was on.

The beginning of the battle was a success.  Our 340lbs. Minotaur, Zoob, held the door shut, so that left only the windows to guard.  Funny thing is there were some conveniently place vats of cleaning solution scattered throughout the bar.  They were small, about a pony keg, and we managed to tip one out the window and onto some of the less than intelligent dragonborn.  Meanwhile, at the other corner our group bard, Magnus, was having some troubles hitting his target.  The dragonborn was coming through the window and was practically prone but for some reason, Magnus kept missing.  I guess hitting things isn't a bards speciality, so no one took notice.  Little did we know....

I assume the barrels looked somewhat like this....

Magnus, and our assassin, nicknamed "Pony Boy" (because his names too long to remember) were taking care of the two windows.  I wanted to be of some use, but there was only room for one person at each window.  This is where Zoob and I got creative.  I'm an avenger shifter named Rosie and I have what we'll just call a gift for climbing.  I got a barrel of cleaning solution (we are calling it acid now because it's quicker to type) and set it by the door that Zoob was barring shut.  I took my grappling hook, threw into one of the beams above the door and climbed up it.  Once I was high enough to be above the door without being in the way, I tied the rope securely around my waist and had Zoob hand me up a keg of acid (it had a lid).

The DM seemed intrigued with where we were going with this plan and the rolls were in our favor.  Once firmly in place with my acid, we decided to open the door.  One of the dragonborn came charging in, unknown to him, right below the very happy Rosie with a very full keg of acid.  I let it drop and the damage was amazing.  Zoob quickly shut the door before more baddies could get in and disposed of our new guest.  All the while Pony Boy had successfully dunked the head of a dragonborn attempting to get through the window in another vat.  He fell out of the window, onto a comrade, and into where the acid had spilt.  This was getting fun.  The acid barrel was plugging up the window, so Pony Boy went over to aid Magnus  who was still having troubles getting a hit on another window intruder.

Round two for the door acid was about to start.  Zoob opened the door again.  This time I splashed acid, hitting the remaining enemy who had been banging his hands to ribbons by tying to knockdown the door with nothing but his fists (He had lost his weapon trying to breakdown the door).  This might be where you'd say things started to go wrong....okay....this IS where this went VERY wrong.  The new guy wasn't too much of a problem, but our two baddies outside the window decided after their acid bath to try to get in again.  They succeed on getting in (though they slipped on some acid in doing so) and Zoob was worried about having two guys freely walking around.  He charged the two dragonborn.  The charge was so strong that he knocked both of the bad guys through the wall and into the next room.  YEAH ZOOB!   The problem was, little Rosie was left all by herself and she managed to get herself grabbed.  Magnus and Pony Boy were still at the window and their rolls were going down, fast.  Magnus started rolling nothing but 3's 5's and 6's.  The dragonborn weren't too hard to hit, but when they hit, they hit with vengeance.  Pony Boy did his best to quickly get out of battle, try to save my ass, then get to Zoob who was now in a battle of 2 against one.  All the while the rolls were SUCKING!  No one seemed to be able to catch a break (Well except Zoob who managed to crit twice in one night) and we were getting our health drained fast.  After escaping my grab, Pony Boy went off to help Zoob, only for me to get grabbed again!  Magnus came over, but still his bad luck continued.  By some stroke of a miracle we somehow ended up with one enemy.  He started to make a run for it, but we gathered what was left of our strength and took him down with one last volley of attacks.

Ps:  This is Magnus's dice.  It shall now forever be known as The Demon Dice!

I guess that just goes to show you how quickly a battle can take a turn for the worse.  It's not one players doing, it's a collection of bad roles and unfortunate timing.  We started off creative, and being this was a battle of level 2 characters against level 5 enemies, we really beat the odds.  I think we could have had a smoother ending if we would have kept up our ingenuity because in a straight up fight, I doubt we could have made it.  Looks like you always have to be ready to find creative solutions, that and, well- a keg of acid always helps.

Babbles of a Fangirl – Michael Bay’s Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles

I'm all for a gritty TMNT, but is Bay taking it too far?

Some of you fanboys and girls out there might have heard rumors floating around the sewers about the new adaptation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it’s producer, Michael Bay.  If you did, you know where this is going.  If you didn’t, strap yourself in for some fan-rage. 

Sources have confirmed that Bay is planning a unique adaptation of the popular franchise.  One might think this means more expositions, CGI, or serious tones than found in the original 1990 live action film.  Think again.  What does good old Bay of Transformers fame have in store for us?

Aliens.

The turtles are of alien decent.  To be exact they are aliens from another dimension. Since this news was confirmed a few days ago, Michael Bay released a statement but if his intentions were to smooth the feathers of fans, he’s not very good at it.  Bay said,

"Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back-story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world."

According to firstshowing.net fans might need to give the idea a chance.  In the original TMNT “…TCRI, which is the name of the place where the mutation causing ooze originated (it was TGRI in the second film), was actually a secret base for the alien beings Utroms….”

Honestly, I don’t know how to feel about this.  I was a fan of the movie before the cartoon (because I was born after the 80s) and I’ve always adored the world created in the movie. The problem with remaking such a beloved franchise is that fans are probably going to get mad anytime a change creeps into the world they’ve loved and protected for so long.  TMNT fans have to be one of the most hardcore fan bases out there because you have to have a lot of backbone to support and defend liking giant, mutant turtles with surfer accents to strangers and haters.  It doesn’t help that Bay has had a history of inciting fanboy with his Transformers franchise.  I think the best way for Bay to get past this fan doubt is to give us something encouraging.  Release an early concept design of the turtles, tell us (for the love of God) that you will be using live action suited turtles and not CGI, give us character designs for the movie’s baddies.  Throw us a bone, a familiar bone with all the trimmings beloved by the original turtles fans.  It just might do wonders! 

Until then, I’m going to shelf my feelings.  But trust me, much more of this and you will see some fangirl rage.  We’re watching, Bay, we’re watching.    

PS:  Voice your thoughts on Bay's thoughts and ideas in the comments!

First Impressions: Batman- Arkham City

To be completely honest I haven’t had much time to delve with extreme dedication into any games. There have been starts here and there, but one must understand that I am working under difficult conditions that being my availability to watch and my gamer’s time to play. Once finals are said and done we will be able to jump back into the portals (HINT HINT) of gaming- I promise!

For now I will do my best to feed you with my initial thoughts of Batman: Arkham City. It pains me to not fully dive down the rabbit hole of this game nonstop-especially after the gaming orgasm (Yes, that is the best way to phrase it!) that was Batman: Arkham Asylum- but I will take what I can get.

I’ve had high expectations for this game for a long time. Then again, I expect anything with the name Batman on it to be nothing less than a god sent, sans anything in the dreaded Schumacher stages :Cringes:. I guess you can say that after Nolan’s Batman franchise was born we Batman fans have been damn near spoiled. We expect everything to be perfect when it features the Dark Knight, and thank god for Arkham Asylum’s sake, this game delivers. But what about this sequel? We have seen more often than not where sequels take a big, dramatic, Disney villain -esque fall in the pits of shit land. It’s a magic place where Batman has nipples on his suit, Secret of Nim rat’s become mad scientists, and it’s okay to make the Rockbitter sing “Born to Be Wild” :stares fondly at gun:. So how does this game hold up?

To answer simply, it’s Batman.

Still confused? You shouldn’t be. It’s BATMAN!

We really need to consider making Batman a verb. It would really help prove my point. Here I’ll try my best

Batman /Batma’n/

Verb (pl. -men)

to both literally and figuratively kick ass to the point of mind-blowing awesome-ness.

It’s a work in progress, but at least I’m trying! Even though I have only begun the game, I promise you it’s a viewing experience like no other. THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD KIDDIES! ABORT THE RIDE NOW!

We start off with Bruce Wayne (yeah that rich guy) making a speech about how Gotham’s alternative to Arkham Asylum, called Arkham City, is about as effective as injecting a patient with fruit punch Koolaid to treat severe blood loss. He means to fix this problem. Not long after saying this he is arrested and taken to the city (I’m sure this will in no way reflect poorly on the Gotham legal system!) where he meets the head doctor and controller of Arkham, Dr. Hugo Strange (With a name like that, we have to be in good hands!). Not to give too much away, Hugo is on to Bruce’s “little secret” and sends the believed to be bumbling billionaire (despite having the freakin body of a juggernaut!) into the city. Not too long after we spring into Batman mode and need to figure out what Strange’s evil plan is amongst putting up with the many characters (AKA: SCREAMING NUT BALLS) that inhabit the city.

As far as watch-ability (Yes, Teacher, I’m SURE that is a word!), this games most of the time plays more like a movie than a game. You can use your radio to tune in on badies private conversations, so even if you’re stuck waiting for your player to finish leveling up some equipment or mastering a new trick, you’ve got plot related dialogue to entertain you. There a old favorites from the original game :cough: Quinn :cough: as well as fresh looks on some old favorites that didn’t show their beautiful, though sometimes disfigured, faces in the first one. You will be entertained by the mystery of it all, as well as how a lot of little stories eventually connect. There new tricks to familiar side quests like the Riddler’s challenges, so you won’t feel like you’re just rinsing and repeating.

If you need to watch someone play a game non-stop for three to eight hours, this one is the ticket. You will be satisfied with the story and not feel like you’re just watching someone button mash bullets through eighty thousand monsters. So get going my peoples to the city! We freaks need to stick together!

An Intro to an Impressionable Young Lady

I feel that some introductions are necessary before we dive in. First off, welcome to Beside the Controller! For those of you new to the site, this is a blog dedicated to a rarely covered view of video games- beside the person playing them. I have been a fan of games my entire life, but have never had a knack for playing them. I’m a naturally uptight person and the pressure of having to make quick decisions and a lack of hand-eye coordination has never made gaming bow well for me! Instead, I actually have more enjoyment watching others play videogames then playing them myself. OH CRAP- LOOK OUT! It’s flashback/story time!

Once upon a time I was a little girl with an older sister who rarely gave up the controller. I was okay with this and contently sat beside her, watching as stories like The Legend of Zelda, Super Mario, and Yoshi’s Island seeped into my impressionable brain. Soon I found myself sitting beside my Father, spewing out all the advice I could gather from the walkthrough manuals we had purchased for our Nintendo 64 games! Fast forward to present day and I still will sit happily beside whoever wants to play. I often have people shoving controllers in my face, certain that I have to be secretly upset to not get my turn. I politely push the controllers aside, pat them on the head, and warn them they forgot to pause and Glados is about to shoot them into deep space (sorry, currently watching a LOT of Portal 2…and though I haven’t seen her do that yet, I wouldn’t be surprised).

So hear is my perspective on the games I love so much! I will have little to say about actual controls and my views on game play may be limited. Being a game-watcher (we’re going to make that word now, spell check!) I focus mainly on storyline and a game’s atmosphere. If a game can make me perch forward on the couch in suspense or hide under a pillow from looming danger, it’s doing a good job!



All in all, I have a lot to say about videogames and I hope to keep you entertained. So sit back, put the controller aside, and let the games roll in!



Now deploying smooth jazz in 3 – 2 – 1 ….GO!