SURPRISE ARTICLE!!!! - Finding the PERFECT Nerd Job

Well it's finally here.  I'm done with school.  Completely, fully, and frighteningly done.  I've been in college since I was 16 (PSEO programs are amazing, if they are available in your state, do it!) and the idea of beginning done seemed like it was never going to happen. With that said, my life has become dedicated to trying to find a job.  I am faced with the terrifying thought of finding a REAL job....:shudders: 

On a completely unrelated note,
you'd be surprised what you find when you google "crappy jobs"

Don't get me wrong, I love writing this blog.  If it were up to me, I'd do this for a living.  But let's be realistic, the chances of such a thing happening are somewhat on the slim side.  Would I jump on the opportunity?  Yes!  Would I love for some bigger review site or group of reviewers to invite me on board their team? YOU HAVE NO IDEA.  But as it stands right now, I'm going to be realistic and hope that the fantasy will someday be a pleasant surprise.
   Now, let us begin. I thought it be fun for us to all look at some ideas of nerdy jobs I'd love to take a crack at!  Please keep in mind, I'm a Communications major with a minor in Technical Communications and several years of writing experience, so these jobs might be a little tailored towards your's truly.  I WOULD welcome people discussing their own ideas though, in fact I'd LOVE some discussion started.  So for the sake of making this a decently sized and halfway organized rant, let's make this a list.  This is in no particular order other than what pops into my head first. Yay for random-ness!


1.Special Events Planner 
Ever go to a really good party and say "I could do this!" Well that's been me as of late.  I helped with a lot of the planning for my sister's wedding and shower and I love helping plan a good party.  I even did an internship where I helped plan and carry-out weddings and company parties.  Now you might be asking, "What's so nerdy about event planning? Isn't that something social, the opposite of nerdy?" Well hear me out lovelies.  I would like to start a party company for nerdy events.  Anime themed birthdays, pony themed company parties, a zombie wedding--the sky is really the limit!


2. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Episode Writer
A chance to write for the greatest show ever?  YES PLEASE!  I've never really mentioned this before (that I remember) but I started off writing for children.  I'm hoping someday to write a children's book!  The thought of writing for a great children's show that has crossed so many boundaries would be amazing.  Not to mention this is a show with all female leads that are strong to boot!  I would love to write a show for little girls who want to grow up and be silly nerds unafraid of who they are.  I know this show would have helped me a lot when I was an insecure little girl. Giving girls a boost of confidence would be an honor!  Not to mention I could connect more directly with my brony brothers!  (I <3 you gentleponies!)

3. Video Game Magazine Writer

Could you imagine, writing about video games all day?  I have to admit, it be a very sweet gig!  I'd love to dedicate hard hours to scrutinizing and studying games.  What more can I say then, I'd be up for the challenge.  You've already seen how much I enjoy it on here!

4. Professional Junk Crafter

This might be the point where I'm abusing the word "professional".  If I've lost you with what the heck this job is, allow me to explain through flash back.

It's back in whatever year it was when I was 12 years old.  I have a box full of nothing but random crap: string, wire, buttons, mangled McDonald's Happy Meal toys, glitter, those things that plastic rings come in from gum ball machines, the foil from gum, sponges, fake flowers, the list goes on for miles!  There sits me, a bored to death little girl with an itch to use her ADD fueled hands.  I reach into the box, pulling out this and that until....BOOM necklaces, keychains, bouquets of flowers, hundreds a beautiful, little creations, all stemming from this cesspool of trash. 

Someday I'll give you guys a look at some of my creations (when my camera decides to come back from the dead -__-) but until then, you'll have to take my word for it!  I can make a mean piece of beautiful trash!

5. Podcaster 

Being paid to babble in an organized fashion?  Yes please!  I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I've been involved in theatre my whole life.  That being said, I'm not afraid to talk to an audience-- at all.  I'd like to also think I have a halfway pleasant voice that people wouldn't mind hearing for an extending amount of time!  Plus, we all know I can babble on paper, and I'm the queen of organized babbling when put in front of a crowd.  I know podcasts aren't a live audience, but that wouldn't make it any less fun!

6. Professional Author

Doing this (this writing you see here) for a living, would be nothing short of amazing.  Also, ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to write a book.  I'm hoping I can someday make that happen.  Maybe I'll even let you guys into my latest writing projects, eventually.

7. Professional Storyteller

It's no secret that I love telling a good story.  When I was a little girl I was notorious for telling ghost stories on the playground (some of which scared the daylights out of my classmates) and I've always carried that ability with me ever since.   

8. Dungeons and Dragons Campaign Author

I haven't done it all that much, but when I have, I love being the Dungeon Master in a D&D game.  My adoration mainly comes from the fact that I love to create a good story, that is fun to play.  I can get mixed up about the order of combat of the Hp's of the baddies, but I know how to make a story that submerses you in.  Being able to write these type of stories in a campaign would be so much fun.  For those of you less familiar, in D&D you can often find pre-made adventures that can save time and brain power for your game.  These are the stories I'd love to write.  I love building an adventurous, though somewhat treacherous campaign.  

9. Social Media Coordinator 

I'm a bit of a social media buff. I love learning everything it takes to run a facebook or good twitter account.  I recently finished up a class all about social media.  I'd love to get paid to run someone's social networking sites!  And trust me, this is becoming a regular career.

10. Book and Teapot Store Owner 

I had to get a funny one in here.  Too bad brick and mortor stores are really dying out.  But as both a collector of books and teapots this silly dream would be a lovely reality.  I would make cupcakes and cookies fresh eat day!  If I ever open up a store, you guys will be the first ones invited for free desserts, tea, and paperbacks ^_^

Well there's a look into my silly, though still desired, dreams.  Maybe I'll find success in one of these, maybe multiple.  We'll have to see where life takes me.  What do you guys think.  What do you think I should do?  What would you do?  

Until next time!

Tootles! 

Babbles of a Fangirl - Nerdy Things I Did While on Jury Duty

"What's this?"  The captain noted off of the radar, his cigarette hanging in disbelief out of the corner of this mouth.  He turned in his swivel chair so hard it that he had to plant his feet to the ground with firm smash. The men all raised their heads, ready for panic. He noted how suddenly young all of their faces looked.  
He readjusted his cigarette and sighed. "Men!" He bellowed.  "Braise yourselves!" 
And in that moment they all knew, praying to any of their gods would be futile.   It had returned.  The horror from out of the depths and nothing could stop it.


The Patchwork Nerd had made a new post.


Segway! 


So...uh....that bit up there is my very convoluted way of saying, "I'M BACK!"
Don't question it, okay?  You should expect worse from me by now.  With that said, it is finally time for me to kick things into gear and give you all what you want (or maybe don't want, but you're getting it anyway): here are the nerdy things I did during jury duty!


Caught-up on my Dungeons and Dragons Reading

Anyone who knows me has come to understand that I bring a book with me everywhere.  It's like my security blanket.  Awkward downtime, take out my book!  Waiting for something, take out my book!  Don't have any free-time, at least I have my book, just incase!  Sometime I bring too many books.  I will admit that there a at least 3 books in my backpack right now (Game of Thrones, How to Train Your Dragon, and The Last Unicorn).  I read multiple books at a time because I have a book for every mood.  Although if I don't finish Game of Thrones within the next year, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend will hide all the books I own until I do (he's in for a challenge).  Oh...am I babbling again?

SEGWAY! (<----this might become a regular thing)

What I'm trying to say is that I brought a lot of books with me to jury duty.  One of which was my Dungeons and Dragons: Heroes of the Feywild.  It's a lovely book and if you are a fan of D&D it really expands your knowledge of the world while helping you cultivate richer stories.  Go and read it!  If your just a fantasy fan, it will really inspire you and give you great story ideas!  

Knitting

The funny thing about jury duty is that you get a note pad during the court case.  The problem is, you don't get it back when you are done.  You can't take it out of the court room and it becomes evidence once the trial is over.  That means that I had to resist writing and doodling on blank paper.  ME denying blank paper a face.  It hurt a lot.  So when we got our breaks, I was desperate to do something, ANYTHING with my hands.  The problem was that it was too loud to do write anything deep (everyone talked a lot and I need silence to write) and drawing, I have found, always gathers too much attention.  I don't need anyone seeing the crap I draw.  So knitting was the perfect compromise.  It allowed me to be social with others (something I've been practicing) while keeping my hands busy.  I've been working on a scarf for a while now and thanks to my jury services, I'm almost done!

Not to mention it was a great conversation started (I'm trying to leave my corner more)

My Banter with Strangers

Keep reading, this will make sense in a bit

It's odd to think that jury duty, of all things, is the event that makes you realize just how much of a nerd you might be.  When you are in jury duty you are not allowed to discuss the case with anyone, this includes other members of the jury duty.  Now imagine, if you would, getting a break from court while you are on a jury.  For those of you who have never been on a jury what happens is a nice court attendant takes you back to this little room all tucked away from the rest of the court house.  It has two bathrooms and lots of coffee to prevent you from ever wanting to leave.  Now while in this little room, sipping your coffee and staring at the wall you might feel so inclined as to talk to your fellow jurors.  The only problem is that there's an elephant in the room.  A big, fat, stinking elephant that sits on the middle of the table and is catching up on this hobby of playing the spoons while burping the alphabet.  He's right there, and you have to ignore him.  This leads to small talk, lots and lots of small talk.  Sometimes VERY small talk just to keep  you from yelling out about the latest witness you saw.   

Now many of you don't know me personally so I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  I babble. . . A LOT.  I'm usually quiet around people I've never met before, but six days of sitting in a court room will really warm you up to the idea of talking about anything before you have to go back into a room where you can barely move a facial muscle, let alone talk.  The topics of our conversations were pretty normal, ranging from "What do you do?" to "Are you married?" ect...ect...ect...but by the 5th or 6th day people were either connecting with each other and coming up with the perfect thing to say to each other or grasping at straws.  There was one particular gentleman that was grasping for his dear life.  One day we were all sitting.  He wasn't talking (but you could tell he wanted to be) and I was knitting.  I happen to be wearing my dragon necklace that is gold.  The dragon has it's claws wrapped around a bright, blue marble, so it's very distinct.  He pointed to my necklace and said,

"That's a neat necklace."  Bless his soul you could see him trying to have a sense of humor as he said, "Is it a lucky dragon?"

I looked up from my knitting, placing my hands lovingly around the little dragon.  I smiled.  "I'm not sure.  But I wear it to most of my D&D games and it's always helped me not die."

Right away I wanted to smack myself. What did I just say?!?  Crap, he must think I'm crazy! I looked up at him.  He smiled but looked like he didn't know how to reply.  Okay, he only thinks I'm a little crazy.  I quickly went back to my knitting, my fingers flying to make it look like I was very busy.  

That's always been my problem with strangers or new people.  Most people look at me and say or think "Aww....she looks and sounds like she just stepped out of a Victorian Christmas card!  I'm sure she has pleasent things to say!"

And the funny thing is that I usually do, but every-so-often I say that one nerdy thing that makes people either stare blankly at me or think I'm freakin' awesome.  I'm glad to say I've learned to be proud of it and polite when the stares happen.  But I got to admit, that gentleman's face was pretty priceless. 

Well, that's it for now! 

Toodles!

Xoxo 

Out of the Dungeon - There's Always Someone Guarding the Road or How to Not let You Alcoholic Minotaur Lose His Battle with Mead

It's Dungeons and Dragons story time (again) kiddies!  Gather around and let Patches the Bard tell you a tale about D&D and a little concept called "free will" when gaming. . . . and barrels of booze. . . .

Why does it seem that most my D&D experiences come from barrels?

Once upon a time (AKA a few months ago) my fellow party members and I were wandering down a trail in the forest, heading home after a long adventure in a cave involving a math mix-up, dark rooms for even those with low-light vision, and an angel that got all emotional with us.  We were tired and ready to reap the spoils of turning in our found items for rewards beyond our imaging.  There was one problem, our path was blocked by thieves and mind you these were some of the dumbest thieves I've ever encounter.  Bless their pathetic souls, though, because they still tried to take a "toll" from us.  Having a less than good natured group, we quickly took to fighting instead of paying and spent the remainder of the game bottle necked with these annoying bastards. We eventually took care of them and Zoob, our groups minotaur,  took to looting the thieves camp.  We didn't find much aside from a box we couldn't open (I don't talk about that box anymore because boxes have been known to make players cranky)  and some barrels of mead.  Zoob decided he was going to drink it....all of it....

(You should be reacting right now the same way you would if a 3 year old was about to put a plastic bag on their head)

We all tried to advise Zoob against this, but it was late and I guess he had nothing better to do.  Zoob drank a large portion of the mead and continued to sip as we walked.  Needless to say he got drunk, really fast.  I tried to slow him down by stealth-ing beneath him and making a small hole in the barrel, but that didn't help much considering he had already drank most of it. So we now had a drunk minotaur stumbling around and making an authentic ass out of himself....great!

 We decided to set up a nice, little camp in the hope that some sleep would do ANYTHING to help Zoob's condition.  It wasn't long into our watch that we were attacked (again!) by another group of thieves.  This time, the group was lead by one of the surliest of lady's I've ever met.  Long story short, I was playing an Avenger/Shifter and I attempted to charge this lady while on a cliff.  Now you'd think with an ability like my Oath of Enmity....Pronounced Like so....

....that I'd actually be able to hit the bitch?  Well, luck decided not to be on my side that day, and I ended up hanging off of a cliff.

Zoob was taking dramatic penalties to his attacks due to the fact that,

1.) He could barely stand
2.) He could barely move

It took a very long time and we were almost killed on more than one occasion, but we made it out alive.

As you can imagine, the players were pissed at Zoob for his decision.  I honestly thought it was a little annoying though I saw the humor in it.  I like it when people break up combat with something they create or do to make the game feel more interactive.  Sure, it can mess up a perfect game plan and almost get you killed, but that variety keeps things fresh and from becoming....

Nerd 1: I use "Blood for Strength". (Pushes up glasses)
Nerd 2: (Snorts) Give me a roll.
Nerd 1: (Rolls) 12 vs. AC
Nerd 2: (Evil laugh) Miss!  You die!

You see where that can get tedious and boring!?  I think the real goal with D&D is to find that balance between playing the attacks and such given to you and incorporating your own ideas.  Free will can make this more interesting, but it can also get you into trouble if you mess up.  The more I think about it the more I realize that you run that risk no matter what you do, so maybe it's better to have fun and do whatever the hell you want along the way.  Perhaps it should more so be up to the DM?  I'm honestly on the fence about this.  What do you guys think?  Should Zoob have been allowed to drink all the mead even if I meant jeopardizing the game?  What would you have done if you were the DM?  I really have no conclusions to this story and I want to hear you input.

Until next time,

Tootles!

Babbles of a Fangirl - Nerdy Things to Do When Sick

Surprise, surprise!  With all the stress of helping with family weddings out of the way and recovering from my voice loss, you'd think I'd be back and ready for a consistent schedule of articles -- guess again kiddies!  After all of the hectic-ness in my life lately, I earlier this week had another addition to my annoyance....I threw-up, like, really bad.  Probably the only nerdy thing I report about that moment was that my boyfriend loyally sat by my side in the bathroom, rubbing my back and reading his "Game of Thrones" book.

So now I've spent far too much time curled up on my couch, watching more internet reviews than I'd ever like to admit and nurturing my copy of "The Last Unicorn".  Now I'm bored, really bored, and that's where all you lovely people come in!  I'm going to make a list of my nerdy things you can do when stuck in bed or on the couch because you are sick!  Have fun!

1. Play with legos

I can't be alone with this one -- I DEMAND not to be!  Do you ever find that when you are curled up on the coach with a TV tray in front of you, filled with hot soup and Sierra Mist, that you really just want to knock it off and fill it up with those adorable, rainbow blocks from you childhood?  Even if you can't sit up, breath, or hold down food at least you can use up your last bits of strength to press those darling little blocks into place so you can complete your Star Wars Tie Fighter or recreation of the epic D&D battle you did three weeks ago.  I know for sure than when I'm sick, being reminded of my carefree, childhood certainly livens my spirit and makes me feel like if I got through the chicken pox in kindergarten, I can get through this now.

The man that made this was bed-ridden for 6 months...it was a wicked paper cut

If a sponge can do it, so can you!

2. Imagine a Videogame 

Okay, I can hear your arguments already.  "But Auntie Patches, it's easier to just play a videogame.", "Auntie Patches, imagining stuff is hard!", "Auntie Patches, you need to stay out of the happy pill cabinet." but hear me out first.  When I was a little girl I was obsessed with "The Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time" completely obsessed.  It was the only game I wanted to watch, I daydreamed about it, I drew pictures, I wrote stories.  Finally, I decided to break away from Hyrule and try something very risky: inventing my own videogame.  So I did. In my head I created levels, puzzles, the storyline, characters, action sequences (Some pretty dark for a 10 or 11 year old) and strung it all together.  Granted, I have no idea how to make a real videogame (graphics wise, I mean) but you know what?  Coming up with all the little details were so fun that I didn't need to play it.  I still have that game in my head, levels and all and I know that it's my own private game I can play anytime I want.   Not to mention, it helps that I don't have to press any buttons, a plus when you are sick and unable to move!

I couldn't agree more, Dash!

3. Write a Fanfiction
Why am I so certain that you are all boo-ing me for this choice?  Well, the word "fanfiction" is not known for inspiring the confidence of others in the world of writing or sanity.  I remember the first fanfiction I ever read about the band members of My Chemical Romance meet Criss Angel and after Brothers Gerard and Mikey kiss each other, Mikey gives Criss Angel his favorite demon rubber ducky. . . .

After that, I pretty much washed my hands of fanfiction.  It wasn't until my fairly recent My Little Pony obsession that I began to peek at that-which-must-not-be-read, because you know what?  Fanfiction can be fun!  Sure some of it can be weird!

85% of Bronies

Some of it can be creepy!

Dont worry "Cupcakes", I have a few words for you in the future....also, please don't hurt me!

But there is some fanfiction that despite it's poor writing and obvious fan service, is just fun and makes you smile.

And sometimes let's you live out your sick fantasies....JK!

My thought is, if you are sick and on the verge of death anyway, wouldn't you like someone to know that you secretly shipped The Nostalgia Chick and Todd in the Shadows long before anyone knew they were dating in real life?  When you are sick, laughter often helps leaps and bounds, so why not make yourself laugh at all the crap you can come up with about something you love anyway?  You will get a rush from nerding out and you will find yourself giggling at the crap you come up with.  Try this (and the other stuff previously mentioned) next time you're sick, you just might make yourself feel a whole lot better.  I know I am!

Xoxo!

Tootles!

In Control - The Botchy Battle of the Dragonborn

I know I promised to deliver my thoughts of The Hunger Games as my next entry but a recent Dungeons and Dragons game has somewhat distracted me.  On Monday night my group met.  This was a special session as our usual playing date is Thursday nights.  The week before we had a very long session in which we only fought one dragonborn (that WOULDN'T DIE) and a few skill challenges.  Long story short the group was demanding some battles or a mutiny would be underway.

For the record, you'd turn and run if you saw this guy chasing you, too!

Our DM, being ever so compliant, accepted our request and scheduled a special Monday game to make up for lost battle time.  We all showed up, got out our sheets, and fired away.  Little did we know of the blood bath we were about to encounter.

Here's the set up.  Our group had previously killed a dragonborn who was recruiting locals into joining his cult.  After we got our information out of him and took him out, we went to the cult and had our thief do some quick record grabs so we could try to get to the bottom of things.  Our night started out with us leaving the cult, turning the corner, and BAM!  Before us stood the same dragonborn we had just killed, bandaged up and with a small army of 5 or 6 dragon borns.  We turned and ran into the nearest building, barring the door behind us.

 It was on.

The beginning of the battle was a success.  Our 340lbs. Minotaur, Zoob, held the door shut, so that left only the windows to guard.  Funny thing is there were some conveniently place vats of cleaning solution scattered throughout the bar.  They were small, about a pony keg, and we managed to tip one out the window and onto some of the less than intelligent dragonborn.  Meanwhile, at the other corner our group bard, Magnus, was having some troubles hitting his target.  The dragonborn was coming through the window and was practically prone but for some reason, Magnus kept missing.  I guess hitting things isn't a bards speciality, so no one took notice.  Little did we know....

I assume the barrels looked somewhat like this....

Magnus, and our assassin, nicknamed "Pony Boy" (because his names too long to remember) were taking care of the two windows.  I wanted to be of some use, but there was only room for one person at each window.  This is where Zoob and I got creative.  I'm an avenger shifter named Rosie and I have what we'll just call a gift for climbing.  I got a barrel of cleaning solution (we are calling it acid now because it's quicker to type) and set it by the door that Zoob was barring shut.  I took my grappling hook, threw into one of the beams above the door and climbed up it.  Once I was high enough to be above the door without being in the way, I tied the rope securely around my waist and had Zoob hand me up a keg of acid (it had a lid).

The DM seemed intrigued with where we were going with this plan and the rolls were in our favor.  Once firmly in place with my acid, we decided to open the door.  One of the dragonborn came charging in, unknown to him, right below the very happy Rosie with a very full keg of acid.  I let it drop and the damage was amazing.  Zoob quickly shut the door before more baddies could get in and disposed of our new guest.  All the while Pony Boy had successfully dunked the head of a dragonborn attempting to get through the window in another vat.  He fell out of the window, onto a comrade, and into where the acid had spilt.  This was getting fun.  The acid barrel was plugging up the window, so Pony Boy went over to aid Magnus  who was still having troubles getting a hit on another window intruder.

Round two for the door acid was about to start.  Zoob opened the door again.  This time I splashed acid, hitting the remaining enemy who had been banging his hands to ribbons by tying to knockdown the door with nothing but his fists (He had lost his weapon trying to breakdown the door).  This might be where you'd say things started to go wrong....okay....this IS where this went VERY wrong.  The new guy wasn't too much of a problem, but our two baddies outside the window decided after their acid bath to try to get in again.  They succeed on getting in (though they slipped on some acid in doing so) and Zoob was worried about having two guys freely walking around.  He charged the two dragonborn.  The charge was so strong that he knocked both of the bad guys through the wall and into the next room.  YEAH ZOOB!   The problem was, little Rosie was left all by herself and she managed to get herself grabbed.  Magnus and Pony Boy were still at the window and their rolls were going down, fast.  Magnus started rolling nothing but 3's 5's and 6's.  The dragonborn weren't too hard to hit, but when they hit, they hit with vengeance.  Pony Boy did his best to quickly get out of battle, try to save my ass, then get to Zoob who was now in a battle of 2 against one.  All the while the rolls were SUCKING!  No one seemed to be able to catch a break (Well except Zoob who managed to crit twice in one night) and we were getting our health drained fast.  After escaping my grab, Pony Boy went off to help Zoob, only for me to get grabbed again!  Magnus came over, but still his bad luck continued.  By some stroke of a miracle we somehow ended up with one enemy.  He started to make a run for it, but we gathered what was left of our strength and took him down with one last volley of attacks.

Ps:  This is Magnus's dice.  It shall now forever be known as The Demon Dice!

I guess that just goes to show you how quickly a battle can take a turn for the worse.  It's not one players doing, it's a collection of bad roles and unfortunate timing.  We started off creative, and being this was a battle of level 2 characters against level 5 enemies, we really beat the odds.  I think we could have had a smoother ending if we would have kept up our ingenuity because in a straight up fight, I doubt we could have made it.  Looks like you always have to be ready to find creative solutions, that and, well- a keg of acid always helps.