I'm Playing a Video Game?!

[Insert apology about being on hiatus again]

Annnnndd.....we move on.

So you know how there are some people who have ready everything about Mona Lisa that they've become experts on it?  They study all the books, they know all the methods and thoughts that went into it's creation.  Heck- they might even be experts on all art in that era just to understand how big of a impact the Mona Lisa had on the world of art then and now.  But let's add to this idea that this expert has never seen the Mona Lisa in person.  Sure, they've seen copies or pictures in books, but they have yet to ever see the painting face to face.  This might automatically hurt this person's creditability no matter how extensive their knowledge is, because they don't have the full background to pump their knowledge up.  Well this is how my relationship with video games has always been.  I have researched video games for a long time now.  I've read and watched a lot of videos that give me both the history of video games and where they might just go in the future.  Still, and let's be frank here, I rarely play video games due to one simple fact, I suck at playing.

That is, until The Walking Dead game came along.

Once upon a time my boyfriend, with the help of my brother-in-law decided to build a fancy new computer.  This would finally allow him to play many of the games he had been missing out on in the last couple of years.  I, being the typical weary girlfriend, was curious to see if any of the games he would be playing would be what I like to call "Soul Suckers".  I'm talking about your Wows or LOLs, you know, the type of games that take an individual deep into the depths of Hades for all eternity. So when he downloaded Skyrim I was relieved because for some reason I find this game very none threatening.  He found a few other games like Witcher 2 and so on where I silently gave my blessing.  Then he told me about a game called "The Walking Dead" and I didn't know what to think.  I had heard of the television show, but if you know me than you'll understand that I do not handle the concept of zombies well.  The idea of being dead, mindless, and out of control of your own body (the one thing in this world that SHOULD be yours) terrifies to the point of many a sleepless night.

Here's my main man, Spike, to demonstrate my usual reaction

So when my boyfriend said, "Try it, I think you'll like it."  This was my reaction: 

No witty caption needed, the face says ALL!

But then he told me it was like Heavy Rain.  Look back at my earlier reviews, like waaaaaaay back, and you'll know how much I enjoyed Heavy Rain.  My interest was starting to peak, but still, I remember my boyfriend having to hit the controller with his nose because that game required him to hit so many buttons at once.  I don't have that kind of coordination....but then  he told me this game was on a computer (DUH to silly me!) and not a console and would therefore be boatloads easier to play.  

You want to know what I did?  I started playing.  He left to go to work, arming me with the most basic of instructions on how to use the controls, make decisions, and progress through the game.  You want to know what the one afternoon with that game did to me? 

Hook, line, and sink.

I was eventually screaming at the zombies approaching me in the game, yelling "Bull Sh**!" at the top of my lungs when I died, and (most importantly) having fun.  I'm for probably the first time in my life genuinely enjoying playing a video game.

Now not only does this game allow me easy controls for my less than agile hands, but it has a deep storyline that has always been one of my key draws to video games.  I get to make important decisions but am not always penalized for being too slow with the mouse.  In many ways, this game is the perfect introduction for me down the gaming rabbit hole.  I intend to see if this becomes my gateway drug or if this is simple one of those rare games to not only get my interest, but not lose me for my lack of skill.  

And this is where a new chapter will begin for all of us here at The Patchwork Nerd.  I am introducing a new series of articles I'd like to call "The Dead Diaries".  This will be both my confession to how I feel about this game but my thoughts on what it's like to go from a backseat gamer, so a fully loaded driver.  The articles will be produced at the mercy of when I find time to play the game.  I will also be doing my best to sprinkle in more regular articles about my typical content.  I hope you guys will all enjoy and take a nice long walk to the dead side with me.

Oh....and I've already had a friend warn me that this game might make me cry....so be ready for that too!

Now excuse me, I'm going to blissfully stroll back to this game to bash some skulls....

My badass strolling

I missed you guys ^_^

Tootles! 

Out of the Dungeon - There's Always Someone Guarding the Road or How to Not let You Alcoholic Minotaur Lose His Battle with Mead

It's Dungeons and Dragons story time (again) kiddies!  Gather around and let Patches the Bard tell you a tale about D&D and a little concept called "free will" when gaming. . . . and barrels of booze. . . .

Why does it seem that most my D&D experiences come from barrels?

Once upon a time (AKA a few months ago) my fellow party members and I were wandering down a trail in the forest, heading home after a long adventure in a cave involving a math mix-up, dark rooms for even those with low-light vision, and an angel that got all emotional with us.  We were tired and ready to reap the spoils of turning in our found items for rewards beyond our imaging.  There was one problem, our path was blocked by thieves and mind you these were some of the dumbest thieves I've ever encounter.  Bless their pathetic souls, though, because they still tried to take a "toll" from us.  Having a less than good natured group, we quickly took to fighting instead of paying and spent the remainder of the game bottle necked with these annoying bastards. We eventually took care of them and Zoob, our groups minotaur,  took to looting the thieves camp.  We didn't find much aside from a box we couldn't open (I don't talk about that box anymore because boxes have been known to make players cranky)  and some barrels of mead.  Zoob decided he was going to drink it....all of it....

(You should be reacting right now the same way you would if a 3 year old was about to put a plastic bag on their head)

We all tried to advise Zoob against this, but it was late and I guess he had nothing better to do.  Zoob drank a large portion of the mead and continued to sip as we walked.  Needless to say he got drunk, really fast.  I tried to slow him down by stealth-ing beneath him and making a small hole in the barrel, but that didn't help much considering he had already drank most of it. So we now had a drunk minotaur stumbling around and making an authentic ass out of himself....great!

 We decided to set up a nice, little camp in the hope that some sleep would do ANYTHING to help Zoob's condition.  It wasn't long into our watch that we were attacked (again!) by another group of thieves.  This time, the group was lead by one of the surliest of lady's I've ever met.  Long story short, I was playing an Avenger/Shifter and I attempted to charge this lady while on a cliff.  Now you'd think with an ability like my Oath of Enmity....Pronounced Like so....

....that I'd actually be able to hit the bitch?  Well, luck decided not to be on my side that day, and I ended up hanging off of a cliff.

Zoob was taking dramatic penalties to his attacks due to the fact that,

1.) He could barely stand
2.) He could barely move

It took a very long time and we were almost killed on more than one occasion, but we made it out alive.

As you can imagine, the players were pissed at Zoob for his decision.  I honestly thought it was a little annoying though I saw the humor in it.  I like it when people break up combat with something they create or do to make the game feel more interactive.  Sure, it can mess up a perfect game plan and almost get you killed, but that variety keeps things fresh and from becoming....

Nerd 1: I use "Blood for Strength". (Pushes up glasses)
Nerd 2: (Snorts) Give me a roll.
Nerd 1: (Rolls) 12 vs. AC
Nerd 2: (Evil laugh) Miss!  You die!

You see where that can get tedious and boring!?  I think the real goal with D&D is to find that balance between playing the attacks and such given to you and incorporating your own ideas.  Free will can make this more interesting, but it can also get you into trouble if you mess up.  The more I think about it the more I realize that you run that risk no matter what you do, so maybe it's better to have fun and do whatever the hell you want along the way.  Perhaps it should more so be up to the DM?  I'm honestly on the fence about this.  What do you guys think?  Should Zoob have been allowed to drink all the mead even if I meant jeopardizing the game?  What would you have done if you were the DM?  I really have no conclusions to this story and I want to hear you input.

Until next time,

Tootles!

Movie Rants - The Hunger Games

Yes!  After almost two weeks (or is it 3?) since it's release I've finally found time to properly put my thoughts into strong, understandable words.  I guess I've been avoiding this one for a few, silly reasons.  First off, I loved it so much, arguable too much.  I have read the book and I was afraid that my initial fangirl giddy-ness would make the review suffer from,

1.) Over hype and 

2.) Talking about the book and making this more of a comparison than a review.  

Letting my fangirl urges cool seemed like the best remedy to this problem.  Second, this is my first, real attempt at a movie review.  You might think it silly that I'm being so serious about something.  After all, I've written video game reviews and the like with no such stage fright.  Well, here's the deal.  I adore movies.  If there is one thing that my parents raised me on, it is good cinema.  I have been collecting a very strict movie pallet for a long time and it doesn't help that I watch more movie reviews on thatguywiththeglasses.com than any decent person should.  This inevitably has put a great deal of pressure on me to create a review that is both insightful and original.  I didn't want to just rant about what was bad for comic relief, nor did I want to sing the movie's praises beyond an unmatchable level.  Long story short, I want to give myself somewhere to go with future reviews.  With that said, I'm going to do my best in my analysis of The Hunger Games, I will be critical but fair (fingers crossed) and do my best to do more than shout the call of the fangirl squee. (Please note I will do a separate discussion of the book series at a later date!)  Now let us begin.  Welcome, welcome my fans, and HAPPY HUNGER GAMES!

Let's start this off blunt and right.  This movie is an experience.  You don't have to read the book to enjoy this film and you can have read the book and not leave angry at the adaptation.  No, this manages to somehow fee like a movie (a problem a lot of book to movie adaptations struggle to overcome) while remaining faithful to the source material.  The look is beautiful.  Keep in mind, the beginning of the film has a rushed, somewhat sporadic style of editing but I feel that this only creates tension for when we finally get to the reaping where the shots are long and the camera is as eerily still as the actors.  The cinematography matches the emotions of its scenes and I feel this is something that many movie creators fail at.  The camera and editing are rushed when they need to be.  You could argue that you have no idea what is going on in the more violent scenes because of this pacing, but you can tell this is done purposely.  After all, in scenes with brutal carnage it is necessary to shake things up so that the PG-13 rating can be maintained and thus make this movie still accessible to it's target audience.  

(Some spoilers from here on out....be wary!) 

Now what is the plot you may be asking (all 3 and 1/2 of you!) and it's pretty simple to understand.  Katniss Everdeen is a girl living in a post-apocolypic North America, now known as Panem.  The country has now been divided into twelve districts all of which are lead by the Capitol.  Years ago the districts tried to rebel and failed.  As punishment, every year each district must offer up one young man and women between the ages of 12 - 18 to battle in the Hunger Games to the death.  Only one winner comes out.  This particular year in which the movie is set, Katniss volunteers in the place of her 12-year-old sister, Primrose.   The movie proceeds to follow her adventure through this frightening experience.  

Aside from the technical aspects of the movie, the story just flows so naturally.  The pace is great and we somehow find time for all of the major events and character development that often makes book to movie adaptations flubby and unbearably blunt.  This is how to adapt a book into a movie.  You remain faithful to key events, have faithful adaptations of the characters, and offer your film version of the story.  Book-to-movie's often forget that they are movies, meaning they are a largely VISUAL media.  Movies need to show a lot of things that we get paragraphs and paragraphs about in the course of a few minutes (and in some cases even less) without bluntly throwing it in our faces.  Take for example I was watch the movie Eragon the other day (yeah, I'm a sadist, I guess) and the movie suffered from one major flaw (aside from the shit script).  The movie didn't feel like a movie.  People were making long speeches out of nowhere, narration was in places where the audience could infer what was going on, and the movie overall made me feel like I was an idiot with how much information they were handing me.  The Hunger Games is clever about it's presentation and that is so refreshing.  The story is imaginative, the world feels real without being cartoon-ish, and you get close to the characters and our invested even if you can predict the outcome.  This movie makes you care.  

Lastly, I don't think movie could have been more perfectly casted!  Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss is so dead on that it will send chills up your spin.  I could go on and on about each individual role so I'll just hint at some fun highlights.  Stanley Tucci as the silver-tongued television host, Caesar, was one of my personal favorites because of his charm and wit.  You could tell he had fun in his role.  The same could be said about Elizabeth Banks as Effie Tinket.  She was a doll (be it a doll I wanted to strangle).  

Overall, if you love good movies, you'll appreciate this.  If you love action, it's up your alley.  And if you’re looking for a refreshing story of strife amongst a large evil, well, get your butt in the seat.  This movie will force you to feel and we need more of that in an age of stiff, bland cinema.  

What did you guys think of this movie?  Did you love it?  Hate it?  Did you cry (I DID I DID!)?  Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Until next time....


Tootles!

First Impressions: Batman- Arkham City

To be completely honest I haven’t had much time to delve with extreme dedication into any games. There have been starts here and there, but one must understand that I am working under difficult conditions that being my availability to watch and my gamer’s time to play. Once finals are said and done we will be able to jump back into the portals (HINT HINT) of gaming- I promise!

For now I will do my best to feed you with my initial thoughts of Batman: Arkham City. It pains me to not fully dive down the rabbit hole of this game nonstop-especially after the gaming orgasm (Yes, that is the best way to phrase it!) that was Batman: Arkham Asylum- but I will take what I can get.

I’ve had high expectations for this game for a long time. Then again, I expect anything with the name Batman on it to be nothing less than a god sent, sans anything in the dreaded Schumacher stages :Cringes:. I guess you can say that after Nolan’s Batman franchise was born we Batman fans have been damn near spoiled. We expect everything to be perfect when it features the Dark Knight, and thank god for Arkham Asylum’s sake, this game delivers. But what about this sequel? We have seen more often than not where sequels take a big, dramatic, Disney villain -esque fall in the pits of shit land. It’s a magic place where Batman has nipples on his suit, Secret of Nim rat’s become mad scientists, and it’s okay to make the Rockbitter sing “Born to Be Wild” :stares fondly at gun:. So how does this game hold up?

To answer simply, it’s Batman.

Still confused? You shouldn’t be. It’s BATMAN!

We really need to consider making Batman a verb. It would really help prove my point. Here I’ll try my best

Batman /Batma’n/

Verb (pl. -men)

to both literally and figuratively kick ass to the point of mind-blowing awesome-ness.

It’s a work in progress, but at least I’m trying! Even though I have only begun the game, I promise you it’s a viewing experience like no other. THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD KIDDIES! ABORT THE RIDE NOW!

We start off with Bruce Wayne (yeah that rich guy) making a speech about how Gotham’s alternative to Arkham Asylum, called Arkham City, is about as effective as injecting a patient with fruit punch Koolaid to treat severe blood loss. He means to fix this problem. Not long after saying this he is arrested and taken to the city (I’m sure this will in no way reflect poorly on the Gotham legal system!) where he meets the head doctor and controller of Arkham, Dr. Hugo Strange (With a name like that, we have to be in good hands!). Not to give too much away, Hugo is on to Bruce’s “little secret” and sends the believed to be bumbling billionaire (despite having the freakin body of a juggernaut!) into the city. Not too long after we spring into Batman mode and need to figure out what Strange’s evil plan is amongst putting up with the many characters (AKA: SCREAMING NUT BALLS) that inhabit the city.

As far as watch-ability (Yes, Teacher, I’m SURE that is a word!), this games most of the time plays more like a movie than a game. You can use your radio to tune in on badies private conversations, so even if you’re stuck waiting for your player to finish leveling up some equipment or mastering a new trick, you’ve got plot related dialogue to entertain you. There a old favorites from the original game :cough: Quinn :cough: as well as fresh looks on some old favorites that didn’t show their beautiful, though sometimes disfigured, faces in the first one. You will be entertained by the mystery of it all, as well as how a lot of little stories eventually connect. There new tricks to familiar side quests like the Riddler’s challenges, so you won’t feel like you’re just rinsing and repeating.

If you need to watch someone play a game non-stop for three to eight hours, this one is the ticket. You will be satisfied with the story and not feel like you’re just watching someone button mash bullets through eighty thousand monsters. So get going my peoples to the city! We freaks need to stick together!