Out of the Dungeon - There's Always Someone Guarding the Road or How to Not let You Alcoholic Minotaur Lose His Battle with Mead

It's Dungeons and Dragons story time (again) kiddies!  Gather around and let Patches the Bard tell you a tale about D&D and a little concept called "free will" when gaming. . . . and barrels of booze. . . .

Why does it seem that most my D&D experiences come from barrels?

Once upon a time (AKA a few months ago) my fellow party members and I were wandering down a trail in the forest, heading home after a long adventure in a cave involving a math mix-up, dark rooms for even those with low-light vision, and an angel that got all emotional with us.  We were tired and ready to reap the spoils of turning in our found items for rewards beyond our imaging.  There was one problem, our path was blocked by thieves and mind you these were some of the dumbest thieves I've ever encounter.  Bless their pathetic souls, though, because they still tried to take a "toll" from us.  Having a less than good natured group, we quickly took to fighting instead of paying and spent the remainder of the game bottle necked with these annoying bastards. We eventually took care of them and Zoob, our groups minotaur,  took to looting the thieves camp.  We didn't find much aside from a box we couldn't open (I don't talk about that box anymore because boxes have been known to make players cranky)  and some barrels of mead.  Zoob decided he was going to drink it....all of it....

(You should be reacting right now the same way you would if a 3 year old was about to put a plastic bag on their head)

We all tried to advise Zoob against this, but it was late and I guess he had nothing better to do.  Zoob drank a large portion of the mead and continued to sip as we walked.  Needless to say he got drunk, really fast.  I tried to slow him down by stealth-ing beneath him and making a small hole in the barrel, but that didn't help much considering he had already drank most of it. So we now had a drunk minotaur stumbling around and making an authentic ass out of himself....great!

 We decided to set up a nice, little camp in the hope that some sleep would do ANYTHING to help Zoob's condition.  It wasn't long into our watch that we were attacked (again!) by another group of thieves.  This time, the group was lead by one of the surliest of lady's I've ever met.  Long story short, I was playing an Avenger/Shifter and I attempted to charge this lady while on a cliff.  Now you'd think with an ability like my Oath of Enmity....Pronounced Like so....

....that I'd actually be able to hit the bitch?  Well, luck decided not to be on my side that day, and I ended up hanging off of a cliff.

Zoob was taking dramatic penalties to his attacks due to the fact that,

1.) He could barely stand
2.) He could barely move

It took a very long time and we were almost killed on more than one occasion, but we made it out alive.

As you can imagine, the players were pissed at Zoob for his decision.  I honestly thought it was a little annoying though I saw the humor in it.  I like it when people break up combat with something they create or do to make the game feel more interactive.  Sure, it can mess up a perfect game plan and almost get you killed, but that variety keeps things fresh and from becoming....

Nerd 1: I use "Blood for Strength". (Pushes up glasses)
Nerd 2: (Snorts) Give me a roll.
Nerd 1: (Rolls) 12 vs. AC
Nerd 2: (Evil laugh) Miss!  You die!

You see where that can get tedious and boring!?  I think the real goal with D&D is to find that balance between playing the attacks and such given to you and incorporating your own ideas.  Free will can make this more interesting, but it can also get you into trouble if you mess up.  The more I think about it the more I realize that you run that risk no matter what you do, so maybe it's better to have fun and do whatever the hell you want along the way.  Perhaps it should more so be up to the DM?  I'm honestly on the fence about this.  What do you guys think?  Should Zoob have been allowed to drink all the mead even if I meant jeopardizing the game?  What would you have done if you were the DM?  I really have no conclusions to this story and I want to hear you input.

Until next time,

Tootles!

First Impressions: Batman- Arkham City

To be completely honest I haven’t had much time to delve with extreme dedication into any games. There have been starts here and there, but one must understand that I am working under difficult conditions that being my availability to watch and my gamer’s time to play. Once finals are said and done we will be able to jump back into the portals (HINT HINT) of gaming- I promise!

For now I will do my best to feed you with my initial thoughts of Batman: Arkham City. It pains me to not fully dive down the rabbit hole of this game nonstop-especially after the gaming orgasm (Yes, that is the best way to phrase it!) that was Batman: Arkham Asylum- but I will take what I can get.

I’ve had high expectations for this game for a long time. Then again, I expect anything with the name Batman on it to be nothing less than a god sent, sans anything in the dreaded Schumacher stages :Cringes:. I guess you can say that after Nolan’s Batman franchise was born we Batman fans have been damn near spoiled. We expect everything to be perfect when it features the Dark Knight, and thank god for Arkham Asylum’s sake, this game delivers. But what about this sequel? We have seen more often than not where sequels take a big, dramatic, Disney villain -esque fall in the pits of shit land. It’s a magic place where Batman has nipples on his suit, Secret of Nim rat’s become mad scientists, and it’s okay to make the Rockbitter sing “Born to Be Wild” :stares fondly at gun:. So how does this game hold up?

To answer simply, it’s Batman.

Still confused? You shouldn’t be. It’s BATMAN!

We really need to consider making Batman a verb. It would really help prove my point. Here I’ll try my best

Batman /Batma’n/

Verb (pl. -men)

to both literally and figuratively kick ass to the point of mind-blowing awesome-ness.

It’s a work in progress, but at least I’m trying! Even though I have only begun the game, I promise you it’s a viewing experience like no other. THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD KIDDIES! ABORT THE RIDE NOW!

We start off with Bruce Wayne (yeah that rich guy) making a speech about how Gotham’s alternative to Arkham Asylum, called Arkham City, is about as effective as injecting a patient with fruit punch Koolaid to treat severe blood loss. He means to fix this problem. Not long after saying this he is arrested and taken to the city (I’m sure this will in no way reflect poorly on the Gotham legal system!) where he meets the head doctor and controller of Arkham, Dr. Hugo Strange (With a name like that, we have to be in good hands!). Not to give too much away, Hugo is on to Bruce’s “little secret” and sends the believed to be bumbling billionaire (despite having the freakin body of a juggernaut!) into the city. Not too long after we spring into Batman mode and need to figure out what Strange’s evil plan is amongst putting up with the many characters (AKA: SCREAMING NUT BALLS) that inhabit the city.

As far as watch-ability (Yes, Teacher, I’m SURE that is a word!), this games most of the time plays more like a movie than a game. You can use your radio to tune in on badies private conversations, so even if you’re stuck waiting for your player to finish leveling up some equipment or mastering a new trick, you’ve got plot related dialogue to entertain you. There a old favorites from the original game :cough: Quinn :cough: as well as fresh looks on some old favorites that didn’t show their beautiful, though sometimes disfigured, faces in the first one. You will be entertained by the mystery of it all, as well as how a lot of little stories eventually connect. There new tricks to familiar side quests like the Riddler’s challenges, so you won’t feel like you’re just rinsing and repeating.

If you need to watch someone play a game non-stop for three to eight hours, this one is the ticket. You will be satisfied with the story and not feel like you’re just watching someone button mash bullets through eighty thousand monsters. So get going my peoples to the city! We freaks need to stick together!