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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

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Babbles of a Fan Girl - What I've Learned in the "Real World"

You may have not noticed because I'm so subtle about it, but I haven't been happy with the direction my career has gone post college.  The other day I was scanning through my old blogs, trying to get some inspiration for future articles and I stumbled upon this adorable, little gem as seen here. Could three years really have changed and bittered my perspective on the real world so much?  Since that article I have worked two jobs: one in promotions/marketing and the other in sales/event planning.  And what have I learned?  Well let's dive into that.

I wanted to put a minion here, so I did.
All That Glitters is Not Gold 
It's pretty simple and I don't think this lesson needs much fleshing out.  If a job seems to be too good to be true, it probably is.  Oh! And do NOT, I repeat DO NOT ever work somewhere you appreciated as a child.  Chances are you will run into a place that crushes you image of what you thought that business to be like when you were a child.  It will make you angry and resentful and you will spend a few years wishing you could make it better only to realize it was a ship sinking long before you ever got on it.  It sucks. Speaking of when things suck....

NO! Not THAT!
(PS: NEVER Google "sexy vacuum")
If Your Work Life Suck, Improve Your Personal Life 
After wedding wrapped up I knew I needed to get back into blog writer ASAP.  Why?  Because I needed a task to make me feel fulfilled in the way work never could.  I try to focus on writing, reading, and just enjoying the internet.  I have a dog and a husband that I will spend many a night with cooking dinner and watching shows on the couch.  I have friends (yeah, who would have guessed that!) and I see them often on the weekend. In short, I have a kickass personal life and that helps balance things out.  If you don't feel good about your day job, do yourself a favor and figure out what you need to make your life at home grand.  Which brings me to my next point:

Get A Hobby 
You know how so many cranky, old people below, "GET A JOB!"?  Well I do the same thing with hobbies.  If you are feeling crappy because you come home from a draining job and just stare at the wall, dreading going to work the next day, it's time to get a hobby.  Ask my husband if you need help coming up with an activity to do.  The man collect hobbies like some people collect bobble heads, and he's damn good at every hobby he undertakes.  Do you know why?  Because he treats every hobby with precision and dedication.  The same precision and dedication you would apply to a day job.  If work has you down and feeling like your brain is turning to the green mush from Troll 2, it's time to get passionate about something!

Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
You Probably Won't Make Money from Your Hobbies....and That's Okay!
I used to think that my blog and youtube channel would one day make me famous enough that I wouldn't have to ever do anything but the two for the rest of my life.  That really is my ultimate dream, to make my art for a living.  I often stop and remind myself though that that is a privilege that few people get.  It requires a raw talent, determination, and dash of dumb luck that very few get.  Plus you can't be lazy.  You can't come home from work and just mindlessly type for a few hours and hit "post". It requires turning your hobby from a hobby to a part-time job. Not that there is anything wrong with trying to turn something like this blog into a business, but not at the point that your creation process suffers.  There was a point where I wasn't writing because I thought the topics I wanted to cover weren't "marketable" enough.  And that's just dumb.  I had some people reading and that was more than enough.  It I start worrying about every schmuck that comes here to read I will probably have an aneurism.  So maybe you will manage to make your hobby turn into a business and maybe you won't.  Just don't let your hobbies suffer because you put a paycheck like and asterisk next to it.  Remember why you started that hobby, because you like it, because it keeps you sane, because it's an escape from that pesky job you've been trying not to think about all morning.  So that's what I've learned.  Work can suck, work can shatter your perception on the real world but it can lead you to doing great things.  Just don't let those escapes turn into another job you resent and dread.

Here's to hoping that something good is around the bend!

My inner Disney Princess is still hoping
Tootles!


Xoxo

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Is Being a Nerd a Hobby or Lifestyle?

It's that magical time of the year, E3, where countless video game news becomes known to the general public.  A few years ago, I would have been glued to my computer screen, gleefully watching the announcements in real time.  Now, I have a 9 to 5 job and the best I can manage is to read news articles or (better yet!) watch my Twitter feed for others reactions.  This has left me feeling pretty bummed.  It's no surprise that I kinda, sorta, really hate my job and missing out on E3 is just the icing on the cake.  I know what you're thinking, why am I not catching up or watching coverage after work.  Well, I have run into and interesting situation that I hope to further discuss today.

Picture this, I come home after a long day of being nagged on the phone by people I will probably never meet in real life.  I'm tried.  I kick off my flats, feed my dog, and settle on the couch to check Facebook.  Some nights I then proceed to make dinner.  Other nights I help my husband cook.  We finish making our meal and settle on the couch again to catch up on whatever series we are watching.  We either are sucked into shows to the rest of the night or then try to get things related to our hobbies done, but keep in mind, we are both very tired.  Some nights I need to clean.  Mounds of laundry, begging to be folded are calling to me as I type this very sentence.  There is vacuuming and dishes and scrubbing and sweeping.  There is a pup that needs play time.  There is my tired mind that just wants to sit down, turn off, and watch youtube for a few hours.  I've been musing over why a lot of my nerdy hobbies have fallen to the side.  Am I getting lazy?  Yes, yes I am.  Am I sick of being a nerd? No, never...it's just....

I feel like I don't have the time to be a nerd anymore.

When I first had this thought I then thought I was being ridiculous! I should always have time to be who I am!  I am a nerd!  But then, as my over active mind usually does, I had another thought.  Is being a nerd my hobby or is it my lifestyle?  I can say that right now I am not doing the normal nerdy activities I usually would be doing. Does that make me stop being a nerd?  Have I lost touch with my roots if I'd rather read "Gone Girl" right now instead of the Game of Thrones books?

In my defense I think Flynn and Martin might be cousins
Do I need to cash in my nerd card if I've dedicated the last year of my life to my wedding instead of writing the next great American novel?

I continued this panic for sometime.  Maybe it was time to close up shop, start watching the Bachelorette like so many of my coworkers, and get some highlights.  Luckily, I'm getting better at calming my personal panic.  Yes, the last year of my life I have put many of my normal passions in the backseat.  Writing, reading, my crafts, they are all hobbies, but they are all part of who I am. Being a nerd, just like those activities, isn't something I do just for fun. Well, yes, I do research and learn nerdy things because I think it's fun, but it goes so much deeper than that.  Being a nerd is a culture.  It is being a part of a community of likeminded individuals.  It is a form of express.  It is a passion.  I am a nerd not because it passes the time, I am a nerd because it gives me a place where I belong.  My focus has been elsewhere but I am happy to settle back into my routine.  A year or so of routine change will take a while to adjust.  Also, I have a life beyond being a nerd.  Being a nerd is just one patch that makes up me.  It's a big patch, I am happy to say!

What do you think?  Are you a nerd because it's a hobby?  Do you see it as a lifestyle?  Or is it something more?  Let me know!

It's good to be back!

Tootles!

Monday, June 8, 2015

A Fresh Start

I am officially a married woman.  Well, I was over a week ago, but it doesn't strike me to update all forms of social media with the details the same way is does many other people my age.  So long story short, I am married and it was a perfect, perfect day.  I couldn't have asked for a better day or a better husband.  My little life is getting so wonderful!

I've been reading "Gone Girl" a story that shows the exact opposite of marital bliss.  Normally a book like this would make me panic.  "How long until our relationship is this horrible?" or "When is everything going to go wrong?" but no.  I am learning to just let myself be happy.

Now if I only had the day job to match my personal life.

Now that wedding planning is done, I'm realizing how much I need writing again.  I can't wake up and comb wedding blogs for creative ideas.  In fact, I have been avoiding wedding blogs for fear that I will never let go of them.  So what do I do now?  Besides clean my horror of house, that is.  Writing!  I can finally write again!  I have the energy.  I have a writers group I have been a part of for some time now, so I have people pushing me (and boy Alex does that too).  I have FREETIME!  But yet again, here is another introspective post with nothing to do with the content I've promised for this blog.  Am I never going to be a nerd again?!?

No, I'm almost fully past that phase.  I like being a nerd.  I love writing about nerd stuff.  Am I always going to talk about it?  Maybe not.  I am going to branch out!  I still don't have a clear idea of where I am going, but I have a few experiments up my sleeves!

So let's start fresh.  My name is Patchwork (or Alex).  I am 24 years old and I am married to the love of my life (he is also named Alex).  We have a pup named Willie who sleeps like a donut.  My favorite video game is Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and I danced to Zelda's Lullaby with my father at my wedding.  I am very short, perky, and creative.  I want to change the world with my writing.  Is that a lot to ask for?  I hope you will stick around.

For now tootles!
xoxo!

Monday, May 11, 2015

Being a Big Girl

So, I am getting married in 19 days o_O

My life has been such a fast paced blur this last year.  There has been so much good!  There has been so much stress!  There has been so much creative exploration!  But alas, me using all my creative energy towards the wedding and other outlets doesn't help this blog or my youtube channel.  I'm so tried lately.  Every time I try to write here I feel cornered by the topic of being a "nerd".  It's like my brain for some reason thinks that's not a big enough topic to cover.  Or maybe more honestly it is that the subject is so saturated to the point that I feel like a thumb print on a subway window, sure it's a completely unique design, but that doesn't take away all the other unique print smudged all across the glass.

I'm rambling...again. "Sigh" -_-

Most of my writing has been short stories and poems.  Things I don't feel 100% okay posting because people have warned me leads to copywriting nightmares.  Oh copyrights....my bane and my savior.

I'm so sleepy and it's only 7:13 p.m. right now....ugh.

I've asked before what people want to see from me....but I think I've been gone too long.  The small group I had gathered has branched off to other places, which is deservedly fitting.  I'm still waiting for someone to tell me the right thing to do, my worst habit.  

So do I have any answers?   I'm not sure.  Is it time for a fresh start?  Maybe.

I'm too sleepy to make any forever, big girl decisions.  Why can't I just be a big girl?  I'm getting married soon!  Shouldn't I have everything figured out?  Why hasn't my life path landed in front of me like Dorothy's house freshly plucked from Kansas?

There is one conclusion I have made so far in all of my musing sessions: I am not meant to be a critic.  I think I've just spent too much time creating to art to objectively take others works apart.  Even things I absolutely hate, I usually note good things quietly in the back of my mind along with a grudge.    But if I'm not a critic, than what am I?  I know I'm deep down a storyteller, but there are only so many nerdy stories that happen to me that I can tell you about.  That honey pot will eventually run out.  I could do creative writing, but should I be trying to get that published?  I don't know.  Any thoughts?  Anyone?

I want to fall asleep.

I often hope my dreams will give me answers.  Instead my dreams bluntly tease and torture me.   I'm not kidding.  After recalling a dream to my fiance he chimed "Wow, you're too hard on yourself even in your sleep."  Why can't I just think pretty thoughts.  I'm tried of being angry all the time.  I'm tired of being scared.  I'm tried of being worried.  All three are emotions that have throbbed in me for as long as I can remember.  But how do I learned another way?

This is just another time out of tones and tones of times where I feel ready for change, but get tangled up in the doing so.  I need a push.

It's still too early to go to bed.  I went to bed at 7:30 p.m. last night, that's how tired I was.

Just a few more hours, then bed.

I hope a few of you are still out there.  I don't know where I'm going, but I'm still moving.

Xoxo

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A Very Important Question


Why is my pup so cute?  Thoughts? #WilliethePup





But seriously....where does the time go?  It's already the start of a new year!  This is going to be a big year for me and my family too. I am so close to the adventure of marriage becoming a reality for me!  That alone boggles my mind daily!  I feel like something big is coming this year.  Call it intuition or just blindly assuming I deserve big things simply because I hope for them. Either way, I am remaining positive.  Yeah, me positive, who'd-a-thunk it? I am so afraid of change and desperately welcoming it at the same time.  In short....UGH!  Life is rambling and confusing (Like this post!).  It is scary, new, and sometimes familiar.  Nothing stays the same.  Speaking of not staying the same, I have been thinking.  Now I know that's often dangerous, especially for me, but it seemed like it was time to really evaluate some things.  I started "The Patchwork Nerd" a few years ago as a safe place to discuss my nerdy ramblings.  It's been a great source for reviewing, venting, wishing, and connecting.  The past 2 years I have neglected it far more because of work and sheer laziness.  Maybe I've also neglected it because maybe, deep down, I've been moving in a different direction.  Don't get me wrong, I will always be a nerd.  That's not going away no matter how hard I try to cover is in skinny jeans and fake nails and other crap girls are supposed to like.  The thing is, I don't know where the direction is.  My second to last post focused on the idea of re-inventing myself and this blog.  I still have no answers.  I keep writing and writing, hoping a shinny "AH HA!" moment will rain down on me like divine light.  Part of me thinks I should just keep doing what I've always been doing and just have fun.  Another part of me wants to try something new.  As usual, I am in conflict with myself.  

I guess I want to make a new years resolution of sorts for my identity as the Patchwork Nerd....but I just don't know what goal to make.  Do I pledge to write more articles?  Do I vow to branch out and try new topics and material?  Do I start doing creative writing here like poems and short stories?  Do I finally start writing a novel?  Do I just plan to stop writing retrospective blogs that drone on and on and on and on?  I wish I knew what to do.  I could poll you all, but that's not fair.  I can't expect others to always find my answers.  I tend to lean on the crutch a bit too much.  Maybe my only goal will be to keep moving forward and trying.  

Perhaps....

Only time will tell.   

So in a very round about way, Happy New Years guys!  Take care and keep working hard.  I will keep trying to find my goal, my purpose, and my direction.  If only I could look two ways at once, right?

(I've been watching a LOT of Naruto lately) 

Tootles xoxo

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Babbles of a Fan Girl - Let's Talk about Suicide Squad and Star Wars (A.K.A Trailers and News)

Once upon a time, back when I had the ability to be a full-time nerd, I would go to a website called firstshowing.net. It is a movie news website and is always up-do-date with the goings on in the movie world.  I would check that site every-single-day (I'm fond of the "-" today <3) for any and all news about movies.  Meryl Streep sneezed and won another Oscar?  I knew about that weeks ago!  They decided to make another Harry Potter film about that time he got locked in the janitors closet and did nothing but play with himself for 3 hours until Professor Expendable found him?  Yeah, I knew about the green light AND Warner Brothers dropping the project to make Hangover 37.2.

That being said, I became an adult, got "a real job" and fell out of touch with movies.  Instead of always being ahead of the curb (insert Joker reference here) I am one of the usual slobs finding out my movie and pop culture news via Facebook.  I could go on a whole rant about the horrors of using Facebook as your primary news stop, but we will save that rant for another day.  When I heard about the new Star Wars trailer or the announcement of a Suicide Squad movie, I felt more "Huh....That's a thing," than anything else. . . . and then came the fandom.

Within ten minutes of hearing about all of this, I already had friends of Facebook and twitter blowing up my feed with opinions.  "The casting sucks!"  "What the hell is up with the new light sabers!"  "This trailer is just trying to make me excited!" There was so much negativity around franchises that should be exciting us.  I was about to throw up my hands and ignore the internet until the Rotten Tomato Reviews came trickling in.

Then I paused and thought.

Once upon a time, having Suicide Squad made into movies would have been impossible.  Now these type of franchises are popping up as fast as cereal mascots did in the 90s.  We have seen great work and we have seen bad, so we tend to be skeptical when these announcements come about.  I will admit ever since Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles got a reboot I too started to fear the dread when it came to adaptations. So why am I not raging now?  Although I've never read the comics, Harley Quinn is my favorite villain.  The actress chosen to play her rings no bells in my mind.  Shouldn't I be hunting down her every performance to see if she will live up to my expectations?  Shouldn't I be writing her long emails explaining how she can properly play this beloved character?  We will get back to answering those questions. First, let us talk about Star Wars: The Force Awakens

We were teased at the hopes of revisiting the nostalgia of the Star Wars universe when the prequels came out, only to be met with classic lines "Are you an angel?" or "Me-sa-piece-of-shitta". Our childhoods were attacked by disappointment and we swore to never let it happen again.  In other words, I think the creators of the new Star Wars films were doomed no matter what they put in that teaser trailer.  Fans were going to be ready for a fight.  We refuse to be scrapped across the cheese grader belief Hollywood has that "if you adapt it, fans will come". However, after watching the trailer a few times, I knew what the makers were probably going for.  Call it a sort of "Make the fans feels like its the old Stars Wars, but with lots of cool new shit too".  Yes the rolling droid is silly, the new light saber raises a lot of tactical questions, and we really don't get any sense of the plot.  We do however get some strong visuals of the worlds we are going to see, a snip it of a sinister figure, and a sense of fun coupled with the fact that the franchise has matured.  The creators had to pack a lot of punch into not a lot of time, so cut them some slack if it wasn't the most epic thing you've ever seen in your life.  It's a teaser trailer.  It is meant to TEASE not give you the over all plot.  It is supposed to leave you wondering so you will come back to see the full trailer.  And yes, there are probably some who were so underwhelmed that they aren't going back. I don't think that's going to break the movie though.  And I don't see this trailer as the first domino is a line of disappointment.  I see it as the trunk of possibilities that will hopefully branch out.  I am not going to totally freak out until I actually see the movie....or hear that Megan Fox is playing Princess Leia.

Now let us gather round and sum up where I'm going with all these babbles.  I think ultimately what I'm trying to say is don't take snip-its too seriously.  Yes, this is coming from a girl who is still boycotting TMNT after she heard some "fun facts" about the reboot, but that was a final nail in a coffin that Michael Bay had been building for quite sometime.  Right now Suicide Squad seems to have some great performers attached like Will Smith and Oscar winner Jared Leto and Star Wars: The Force Awakens is being directed and produced by J.J. Abrams, who I feel is a solid Sci-fi director.  Let's all for now just calm down, eat some sugar cookies, and be excited while we can.  After all, it's only a matter of time before Michael Bay tries to turn My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic into a live action film staring Megan Fox as Princess Twilight Sparkle and Danny Devito as Spike. So be goddamn thankful for what you have!

Tootles.