Patchwork Thoughts - Short Stories

The other day I was playing with a new program I got called Scrivener and the funniest thing happened: a short story fell out of me.  It was very much akin to how a woman doesn't know she is pregnant until the pink blob is halfway out of her and screeching for a damn nipple and decent health care.  I didn't know it was in me, but once it was nearly out I felt so obligated to have it out completely. Horrible metaphors aside, I wrote a pleasant little story and I had fun writing it.  It all came from a random sentence I wrote simply to fill a space.  Upon writing that sentence, it hit me: this could actually be a story!  2,000 words later, "An Incident with a Gargoyle" was born!

I decided to man up and read my story at my writers group the other day. I found something oddly therapeutic about reading my story out loud. Like I was hearing for the first time that my stories don't always suck and I may actually have some talent with this thing I've been wanting to do since 3rd grade.  I really could be an author someday if I keep this up.  I finished reading my story and it was met by the polite "That was good"'s and one of my favorite compliments ever: "You write crazy very well!"

I've completed a measly total of three short stories this past year but I'm proud of each of them.  It's very hard for me to write a story without completely investing myself deep within it.  So far two stories have been created by one part a crazy idea and one part the perfect writing music.  Sia will be deemed my muse of 2015.  The other story came from a random impulse and a true desire to write.  That has made me very excited.  I have a desire to write, something that has escaped me for a few years now.  I am writing and enjoying the process again.  I'm not seeing it as an obligation.  I've come to love short stories because they are like sprints through fun ideas.  Now, I just need to get up the courage to actually try and publish them.  But where to start?

I hope I can write one short story every month in 2016.  I think that's fairly realistic, no?  At the end of the year, I will have 12 new friends, each as deranged as the next (I write crazy well, remember?).  I'm still working on this "setting goals for myself" thing and so far I'm not doing too horrible.  I'm writing at least one blog per week, often a belated second quickly after, and I am still drafting and prepping for NaNoWrimo.  I would share my stories hear, but I'm horribly paranoid about theft (you can blame some nasty middle school experiences for that) so I am afraid you will have to wait until I figure out the whole "publishing" thing first.

I wonder if I have another short story somewhere in me this evening?  I should be doing job applications but I'm still doing the "reevaluating my life" thing.  Yay?

Tootles!
Xoxo

Patchwork Thoughts - Writing a Novel & NANOWRIMO Prep

At this current moment my pup is sleeping on my feet and my husband is running around, getting ready to go off and teach school.  It's morning time and although I slept in, I am determined to get some writing in before work.  Writing these personal blogs has been pretty easy so far and they are serving as a main source of inspiration for my writing.  I'm so happy to report that I am 110% on board for NANOWRIMO in November!  My biggest fear, however, has been that I will lose interest by November or I will get to November and choke.  That's why I am using the next two months to prep myself.  That brings me to some very, very good news:  I have written my outline for my Nanowrimo novel!  For the sake of getting organized, I followed and outline system from Katytastic, a youtuber who has quickly became one of my favorites for writing encouragement! Here's one of her videos below!

I had to scrap my plot and raise it from the dead like some sort of Frankenstein of words, but I eventually got it where I wanted it to be!  There was a period where I was terrified because I realized I had no plot, just an interesting concept that occurs.  Luckily, plot eventually came.  I'm so happy I'm taking time to flesh out this story before jumping in.  Otherwise I'd be stuck probably 20 pages in with no idea what I'm doing and where I'm going.  Now that doesn't mean my plot isn't subject to change, I'm always up for that.  I just have a good idea of where my ending will be.  And god knows I struggle with ending stories.

Plot - check!

Characters - Check!

Setting - Umm...Check minus?

Another reason why I'm so glad I'm not writing this story until November is that I need to do some major research on my setting.  I've done some half-assed google searching along the way, but I really need to sit down and flesh out my landscape.  I need to know little, nitty gritty things like, the temperature, common natural features, the patterns of the ocean, history of the location and the impact of current events.  My biggest issue is usually I chose nameless settings or just make one up because I don't like getting anchored by reality.  This story, though will greatly benefit from all the little details being collected in a neat and organized pile.  There is a lot of research ahead of me!

Finally,  I have found the task of writing 1666 words per day (as is expected to complete NANOWRIMO) a little bit daunting.  Between work, lacking sleep, and trying to have a life, it's rather difficult to get that many words crammed into a day.  I'm making it a goal to start practicing now, but it's been hard.  For some reason that many words just looks so intimidating.  I have heard of writing sprints where you take a set amount of time and write as much as you can and I think that might be the key to getting over my fears.  I just need to get the words out and worry about perfection later.  Again, I'm so glad it's not November yet.  There are still a lot more dress rehearsals needed before the main show!

How is everyone else's writing going?  Anyone want to do NANOWRIMO with me?

Babbles of a Fangirl - Nerd Rage

Today we are going to talk about a funny little emotion: anger. I am trying to better understand this emotion as of late because I'm exhausted with anger.  If you have seen the movie "Inside Out" than let's just say, I know who is at the helm in my brain.

Can I say that curse word now?

In my brief research it seems that anger is prodominatly caused by triggers. I have been going through a lot of personal reflection to better understand my triggers and what my anger might really be saying beyond "Grrr...I'm mad!"  I will spare you the details of that information (TMI?) but I did realize I could take a fun spin on this personal reflect for you guys!  How about we talk about nerd rage?

Youtube buffering/Bad Internet connection

Everyday I'm buffering

It's no secret I watch a lot of youtube.  I watch some channels as faithfully as some middle age women watched soap operas 80's.  There is something very relaxing about having a consistent watching schedule.  You have something to look forward to after a hard day. A few minutes watching a youtube show for me instantly transports me to a better state of mind. Needless to say, when I can't watch my stories, I flip.  I am desperately trying to get my quiet time but the gosh-darn internet won't let me do it!  I know that it's there, waiting for me, but I can't get at it.  The worst is when a video came manage to play the crappy advertisement before the video with no problem but when it comes time to actually play the video, no dice!  I'm glad to say my internet connect is much better than it was when I was a teenager, trying to watch the Allen and Craig show in my bedroom.  Although that has spoiled me.  Now I am less patient with loading than ever!  "It worked fine yesterday! So WTF is going on today!"  There is nothing worse than waiting all day for a bit of solace only to not be able to get that relax time you need.  Well maybe there are a few things that are worse.  For example....

When beloved characters die

Picture unrelated....

Why do characters have to die in stories?  Can we just change the system so that characters never die.  Instead let's just enact a makeshift video game style system for death.  Characters just go, collect their extra life and come back for another round of play!  I think the world would be a better, less scary place if we did that.  My normal first emotion when a character dies is usually uncontrollable sadness (Yes, I have sobbed when characters have died) quickly followed by passionate anger.  I don't ever really get over when a character I love dies.  I know.  He/she isn't a real person, so I should just get over it.  The problem is that there are too many artists and writers out there that do too good of a job making their characters feel real.  So maybe it just be a lot easier if people tried less when creating their art.  Sound good?  Speaking of creating art....

You forget to hit the save button

Add caption

We have all been that.  That dark moment.  Whether it's during a game or while trying to create the next great American novel, this is the source of so much nerd rage that I'm sure it's collective anger could create a new, fiery sun.  This sun would be the darkest most evil thing in all the galaxy.  Why?  Because losing all of your work after hours and hours of time is so horrible.  You will now have to go back, retread the ground you walked on and hope you can make the same footprints again.  And you know what?  It's impossible to get it just the same.  You will now only have a shadow of what you did to follow and things will change.  I have lost writing before and it hurts so bad to lose something you spent so much trying trying to get right the first time. Maybe it's easier with a video game to go back, but now you are just annoyed that you have to listen to the stuff you just heard and do the same things all over again.  You lose all feeling of progression and tasks just turn tedious.  Long story short, losing your progress sucks.  Take it from me, hit the save button and hit it often.  It might take you out of what you are doing for a few moments but it's better than having to go back and try it all over again.

Honestly, talking about this has helped me feel a little more lighthearted about somethings that would normally make me so mad.  It's been a rough week and it's nice to finally let go of stuff that was weighing my mind.  I hope this will help you too. Do you have anything that leaves you in a nerd rage?  Or is there something that's been bugging you lately that you need to get off your chest?  Let me know!  And remember, you are not alone!

Thanks & tootles!

Xoxo!!!!

Patchwork Thoughts - NANOWRIMO

I am doing it.  I am going to participate in National Novel Writing Month in November!  I know what you're thinking, "But Patchwork, it's only August!  Isn't it a little early to be saying your doing something in November!?"  You're right, November does feel like a million miles away.  Here's the deal, I'm announcing this now for a few reasons.

1.) Locking myself into a commitment
If announce to everyone that I am going to try to write 50,000 words in a month then I have a lot more eyes making sure I don't give up in the first few days.  I will be the first to admit I sometimes have have problems with my follow through.  I tend to think if a project isn't perfect then I don't deserve to do it.  I am going to try my darn-dist to not let that mind set hit me.  I will also be doing vlogs throughout the month reporting my experience.

2.) The next couple of months are going to go fast for me
The next few months are the busiest time of the year at my work. I will stay busy all the way until Halloween  This time is going to go fast.  I might not have time to talk about NANOWRIMO in the next few months, so I need to talk about it now.  I need to get myself pumped up and ready to write!

3.) I need to start making notes
The story I've decided to write for NANOWRIMO is the same story that I declared I was writing as my first novel.  I am not ready to walk away from that story and I don't want to suddenly put it on hold in November so I can work on something new.  The compromise?   Wait until November and work on my outline and notes in the mean time.  I still have a lot more research to do.  I have also found this really cool writing program called Scrivner that I'm learning more about.  I will probably do an article on that program to let you know my findings and if it's worth you looking at!

4. I want you to think about joining me!
YES!  YOU!  I want you to make a goal and join me in participating in NANOWRIMO.  Do you have a story you've been dying to get out, have you always wanted to try writing a novel?  Do you not have time to write the projects you want?  Join me!  Go to http://nanowrimo.org/ and create an account.  Once you've done that, you can add me as a buddy.  My screen name on there is Alexandra VanHorn.  Find me, add me, and let's get ready for November!  Leave a comment if you are planning to join me on this adventure!

Let's do it!  Let's write some novels!

Tootles!

Babbles of a Fan Girl - What I've Learned in the "Real World"

You may have not noticed because I'm so subtle about it, but I haven't been happy with the direction my career has gone post college.  The other day I was scanning through my old blogs, trying to get some inspiration for future articles and I stumbled upon this adorable, little gem as seen here. Could three years really have changed and bittered my perspective on the real world so much?  Since that article I have worked two jobs: one in promotions/marketing and the other in sales/event planning.  And what have I learned?  Well let's dive into that.

I wanted to put a minion here, so I did.

All That Glitters is Not Gold 
It's pretty simple and I don't think this lesson needs much fleshing out.  If a job seems to be too good to be true, it probably is.  Oh! And do NOT, I repeat DO NOT ever work somewhere you appreciated as a child.  Chances are you will run into a place that crushes you image of what you thought that business to be like when you were a child.  It will make you angry and resentful and you will spend a few years wishing you could make it better only to realize it was a ship sinking long before you ever got on it.  It sucks. Speaking of when things suck....

NO! Not THAT!
(PS: NEVER Google "sexy vacuum")

If Your Work Life Suck, Improve Your Personal Life 
After wedding wrapped up I knew I needed to get back into blog writer ASAP.  Why?  Because I needed a task to make me feel fulfilled in the way work never could.  I try to focus on writing, reading, and just enjoying the internet.  I have a dog and a husband that I will spend many a night with cooking dinner and watching shows on the couch.  I have friends (yeah, who would have guessed that!) and I see them often on the weekend. In short, I have a kickass personal life and that helps balance things out.  If you don't feel good about your day job, do yourself a favor and figure out what you need to make your life at home grand.  Which brings me to my next point:

Get A Hobby 
You know how so many cranky, old people below, "GET A JOB!"?  Well I do the same thing with hobbies.  If you are feeling crappy because you come home from a draining job and just stare at the wall, dreading going to work the next day, it's time to get a hobby.  Ask my husband if you need help coming up with an activity to do.  The man collect hobbies like some people collect bobble heads, and he's damn good at every hobby he undertakes.  Do you know why?  Because he treats every hobby with precision and dedication.  The same precision and dedication you would apply to a day job.  If work has you down and feeling like your brain is turning to the green mush from Troll 2, it's time to get passionate about something!

Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

You Probably Won't Make Money from Your Hobbies....and That's Okay!
I used to think that my blog and youtube channel would one day make me famous enough that I wouldn't have to ever do anything but the two for the rest of my life.  That really is my ultimate dream, to make my art for a living.  I often stop and remind myself though that that is a privilege that few people get.  It requires a raw talent, determination, and dash of dumb luck that very few get.  Plus you can't be lazy.  You can't come home from work and just mindlessly type for a few hours and hit "post". It requires turning your hobby from a hobby to a part-time job. Not that there is anything wrong with trying to turn something like this blog into a business, but not at the point that your creation process suffers.  There was a point where I wasn't writing because I thought the topics I wanted to cover weren't "marketable" enough.  And that's just dumb.  I had some people reading and that was more than enough.  It I start worrying about every schmuck that comes here to read I will probably have an aneurism.  So maybe you will manage to make your hobby turn into a business and maybe you won't.  Just don't let your hobbies suffer because you put a paycheck like and asterisk next to it.  Remember why you started that hobby, because you like it, because it keeps you sane, because it's an escape from that pesky job you've been trying not to think about all morning.  So that's what I've learned.  Work can suck, work can shatter your perception on the real world but it can lead you to doing great things.  Just don't let those escapes turn into another job you resent and dread.

Here's to hoping that something good is around the bend!

My inner Disney Princess is still hoping

Tootles!


Xoxo

The Most Inspiring Thing I've Seen in Years - Miley Cyrus of 'We Can't Stop' at the VMAs

I know I made a promise to one of my fellow blogger's that I would write about a requested topic (and trust me that draft is underway) but there was something far too urgent for me to wait to write about.  This morning I was checking my email (as I often do as part of my lazy day ritual) and my concerns were more focused on if an order of deliciously discounted clothes I had purchased and if the package was going to finally arrive today.  Suddenly, as I clicked to logout out of my email, I was flooded with yahoo news declaring that Miley Cyrus had put on a more shocking performance at this years VMAs than even Lady Gaga had turned out.  I, being a curious glutton for punishment decided to embark on an epic quest to see how batty they former Disney brat had decided to swing.  Now keep in mind that I am pretty much disconnected from pop culture and more specifically MTV.  I don't watch cable, I've never seen Jersey Shore (because it will probably make me eat a cyanide cupcake), and my favorite bands are Coheed and Cambria, My Chemical Romance, In This Moment, Nine Inch Nails, and Mars Volta.  I'm not MTVs target audience.  So going into this viewing I knew this wouldn't be for me.  I expected to be outraged, offended, screaming feminist rants, and demanding a refund to my eyes and eyes.  But do you know what....

It was the most inspiring thing I've seen in a very long time. 

Part of why I haven't been writing on this blog is because I have had a wicked case of writers block.  It has been so severe that I find myself either crying or silently raging in frustration.  This has now finally changed.  After watching Miley stick out her tongue out multiple times in a obvious I'm-trying-waaaaay-too-hard fashion, bears dance for no purpose, and a former Disney star stick her face in someone's ass like it was a bouquet of roses, I have become inspired.  I have found my muse. I know what I must do and I want you to see what you must do as well.  

Now I know what you're thinking: "She wants us to protest this!  She wants us to take to the streets, protesting everything this performance stands for!  We need to promote being smart so our little girls don't grow up like this!" and sure those are all fine and dandy thoughts, but there is something more urgent we need to do.  

I am asking you to keep trying.

I can here the collective "HUH?  That's IT!?" Yes, my request is as simple as that.  We need to keep trying.  

At first when I saw Miley come out, tongue lolling out and about, I wanted to give up.  "What's the point in even trying to make art when half-baked-cash grab-shock-for-effect-pieces-of-dung like this are what we as Americans highlight in our society?  Why should I ever both to try and write a beautiful poem or insightful article when they will always been highly overlooked so that pieces of fleshy trash like this can shine?"  But you know what?  I kept thinking (as sane people should try and do in times like these) and I realized "This is why I should keep writing."  And this is why all artists should keep doing what they love."  It’s not from the standpoint that I don't even have to try to be famous or successful!  No.  Artists should do what they love because every-so-often there is someone who looks at the VMAs and goes, "This isn't for me," It's like I said before, I am not the audience for this performance.  This wasn't made to please me.  Something about this has made some people happy, but there are still plenty of other people that I can make happy too.

That is why Miley Cyrus’s performance is inspiring. If you keep you objective goggles on something can make you hate it but still have a positive impact on you.  

Perhaps this is a bit about optimism too.  I certainly have been afraid before that my own writing is pointless because it’s not changing the world. I realize now though that when we reach out to the world chances are there are few people our art will impact.  I know my blog is never going to reach the fame of Miley Cyrus, the VMAs, or any major pop culture sensation, but I have my few faithful followers that I know enjoy reading my work.  Honestly, that is all I need.

I once heard someone say that art is not done to please the artist, but to please the audience.  If Miley Cyrus is what pleases you, then by all means, keep reaching out to see and hear her art (yes I will use the word art).  Art makes an impact on the individuals who views it and Miley Cyrus's performance sure impacted me.  It reminded me that there is an audience for everything and even though I may never become famous or leave as large of an impact as I hope to, at least I managed to make a few people happy along the way.  I hope you too will be just as inspired as I am.  Keep trying, guys and gals, keep trying.

You're art means more than you'll ever know.

Tootles <3

P.S. Here is the performance if you want to watch.