UPDATE! My Youtube Channel

Hello Everyone!

I wanted to let you all know that the reason why I've been distant from my blog lately is because I'm in the works of developing more content for my youtube channel!  You can see my introduction to my new series here:  The Vlogging Dead 

I've also got more projects in the work, but those will all take time.  Meanwhile, I will do my best to put out my weekly (sort of) articles but they might be shorter than my normal content.  I really appreciate everyones support, patience, and input.  Please let me know what you would like to see more of and I will do my best to to make content that everyone will love!

Take care and tootles!

Babbles of a Fangirl - Disney's Frozen

My favorite Disney film is Tangled.  There, I said it.  If you would like to judge me get in line behind the people who don't understand why I like ponies.  To me Tangled encompassed everything that the Disney films from my childhood had while still remaining aware of how its audience has changed.  When I heard about Disney's newest crack of the animated whip "Frozen" I was optimistic but not jumping out of my seat to witness any footage released early.  Instead I waited idly by, until on a snuggly Sunday afternoon I decided to go see the icy concoction myself.

I was not disappointed.

Frozen, in short, delivers two things extremely well.  It has that catchy music that makes it irresistible for both children and children at heart alike.  Second, it doesn't try to hard.  When I saw Princess and the Frog I felt the entire time like the movie was trying so hard to be that nostalgic Disney film that I couldn't focus.  On top of that it was also trying to break that glass ceiling many Disney films are under.  The problem was that Princess and the Frog was trying to break that ceiling with a Miley Cyrus mounted wrecking balls and that's just no fun for anyone (especially the wrecking ball). Frozen, on the other hand, also takes a crack at that glass ceiling, only this time they are slowly melting the glass down as they warm our hearts.  The characters are sweet and memorable, the plot and villain are not what you would expect, and the songs are to die for!

Case and point here:

I feel that this is a great example for young girls, showing them that even if you are awkward or shy you have something great inside of you worth showing.  As for adult audiences, not only will it kick up those warm and fuzzies from the good old days, but it will entertain you with a fun story and great comedy mixed with action.

Plus there is a Rapunzel and Flynn cameo....what more could you ask for?

Just let it go, darlings.  Let it go!

Babbles of a Fangirl - Equestria Girls

I am going to be really honest right now.  I have been avoiding anything to do with Equestria Girls.

"Oh look!  They released a picture of their god awful toys! LOOK LOOK!"

I exit the room (or internet).

"HEY EVERYONE!  I saw Equestria Girls, come listen to my stories!"

I hide under some sort of desk or in my puppy's kennel (yeah I fit in there....barely).

As you can see, I am in denial.  As soon as I heard rumor of Equestria Girls I hid from the internet, shaking it off as a sick rumor made from the minds of fan fiction fondling bronies (god bless them). When I saw the animation from this so called "movie" I figured it was just animation leaked from some mega fan's deviant art page being passed off as the handy work of Hasbro.  But then the trailer came.

Where do I start with how this trailer made me feel?  I guess my first words (though the memory is hazy) were something along the lines of, "Wait...they're SERIOUS?!" Followed by, "WHY?" and finally wrapped up with "Well...at least MLP is getting a movie release."  But then I realized my final reaction was something akin to saying, "Hey, an acid spitting falcon melted my eyes....but at least I don't need glasses anymore!"

I watched the trailer over and over, always teetering with each viewing between excitement that it was something MLP related and giving up on the franchise all together.  I was already very disappointed with the third season (we'll get to that more later) and this seemed to be the cherry bomb on a shit sundae.  Finally I gave up and decided to just wait and see what happened.  It never played anywhere close to where I live, so I  would just have to patiently wait to get my viewing and put my two cents into the internet review bank (Net worth 86 Kazillion-poptart-lolz-dollars)

Then sexy little Netflix came waltzing up.  Oh sure, it's flashy red colors promise big block busters like The Hunger Games and endless How I Met Your Mother.....but under that facade lies Sharknado's, Troll 2's and endless Uwe Boll "movies". While doing my usual scroll through I found it....Equestria Girls....just waiting for me.  I sighed and thought to myself, "It's time." And so my viewing of Equestria Girls began.

You want to know the thing that I really have been wrestling with, the thing that has made me keep putting this review off?  I, after watching Equestria Girls came to one conclusion.

It wasn't that bad!

HOLD UP!  Before everyone on the pony side of the mirror has me outcasted from the pony community, let me explain myself.  I'm going to divide this according to my nitpicks and the things I genuinely liked about this film.  Once I'm done, then you can attack me with pitchforks.  Deal?

1. Hoofs Up ---- The Message it sent to girls

With out going too far down the "girl power" rabbit hole I have to give this movie some credit.  It took what could have easily been a shallow popularity contest plot and turned into a great example for girls or where hard work an kindness can get you.  Twilight must win a fall formal queen competition for reasons that are too long winded to explain and she does so not with a make over or lies (though they do jam in a make over very abruptly towards the end).  Twilight wins the respect of her peers by bringing the different cliches together and reminding everyone that they aren't so different.  She also works hard to get the dance ready and encourages others to pitch in with her.  This shows young girls that determination and some elbow grease will get you a lot farther than bullying.  I have to respect the movie for this point because this was a movie made mainly for little girls and what this movie can do for them is a strong point to way.  They almost avoid many cliches this scenario often has...well....almost....until....

2. Hoofs Down ---- Flash Century 

Twilight gets a love interest.  He isn't fleshed out.  He isn't funny.  I didn't care about him the whole time because he was never developed.  I felt like he was something thrown in at the end because some producer said "Hey....uh....girls like boys....give that purple chick a boy to like."  BOOM....dumb guy with an even dumber name comes strutting into our lives.  Thanks for nothing Flash.

3.  Hoofs Up ---- The Main Six 

I really liked how everyone maintained their personalities without getting pushed too over the top like in season 3.  Fluttershy was the right balance of pathetic and warm.  Pinkie Pie didn't annoy me.  Apple Jack was loyal....I mean honest.  It was all there!  What more can I say then our characters were introduced as still being themselves!

4. Hoofs Down ---- Spike Being a DOG

I don't like alternative Spike being a dog because I feel it sends a strange message.  Are you saying dragons in Equestria are the equivalent of talking pets?  If anything I think Spike should have been a really little kid that doesn't belong in High School (after all he is a baby dragon!) and that's why Twilight has to hide him.  Dragons need respect.  After all, they can cover your whole world in smoke.

5. Hoofs Down ---- EVERYONE WEARS A SKIRT AND BOOTS! 

WHY?!?!  Just....why?  Sure, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity I can all see wearing skirts or dresses, but why are Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash, the most active people in this universe wearing skirts and boots?  Sure, Rainbow has those little, black spanks underneath, but the skirt is so dumb for someone who is needing to move a lot.  I really didn't understand why Twilight had a skirt either.  Maybe it's just because I'm also bookish and understand that skirts aren't the greatest for curling up.  You could argue that it alternative universe's Twilight that opted for a skirt but even then, why would she?  She loves sitting down and studying as much as pony Twilight.  As for everyone wearing the boots, I'm from a cold state, I wear boots all the time.  I love boots.  Still, why is everyone wearing them?  Was it just easiest to draw?

6.  Hoofs Down ----The Songs and Names

I really didn't enjoy any of the songs in this movie.  I can't remember any of them.  Well, I do remember the song the main six sing in the cafeteria but only because I laughed so hard during that song I could barely breath.  It felt so forced and seeing the girls dance like cheerleaders only brought out my inner assembly skipping self from high school.

I also feel there was a missed opportunity to make this universe a little more original.  Everyone has the same name as they do in Equestria which I guess I could understand if only their names didn't feels so far from being human.  It would have been interesting to have Twilight Sparkle introduce herself only to get odd looks from her names.  She quickly readjusts and says "Twyla" or something.  Then you could have Apple Jack as "Jackie" or "A.J.", Rainbow Dash as "Raina", Rarity as "Ari", Pinkie Pie as "Mina", and Fluttershy as.....hmmm....I guess I'm stuck on that one.  You get the idea!

So there you go.  I hope you don't hate me too much....

Now excuse me....we need a pony break and I have some zombies to kill.

Tootles!

Babbles of a Fan Girl - Harley Quinn

If you would have asked me who my favorite Batman villain was when I was a little girl I would have answered in a heart beat "POISON IVY!" in my best girly squeak.  I was first introduced to the green goddess in the movie 'Batman and Robin' which I will admit, I loved.  Before you attack me with tar and feathers understand I was in first or second grade when I first watched that movie.  I didn't notice how mellow dramatic the acting was or all of the cheesy puns.  No, I was entranced by a villain who not only stood for what she believed in but was a literal force of nature the whole time she did it.  I admired her tenacity so much so that I would play Batman games always as a villain, though one of my own creation.

Later on I caught glimpses of the Batman animated television show.  I distinctly recall thinking it was rather dark and even somewhat scary, so I didn't let myself watch it.  Yes, I was that weird little kid who gave themselves rules and limits.  Despite my personal restriction from the show I remembered one part distinctly where a jester type of girl is being brought to Arkham Asylum.  I remember thinking she looked cool even though I knew absolutely nothing about her.  It wasn't until much later that that character fell back within my life, only a few years ago in fact.  Her name is Harley Quinn and she is my favorite Batman villain.

Cat Woman, eat your heart out

For those of you unfamiliar with the Gotham Siren, she is a former psychologist turned mad woman when she attempts to treat the Joker.  This only results in her falling in love with the Joker to the point of not only obsession, but the point where she abandons her straight life and career to take up the mask of crime.  Her relationship with the Joker is ALWAYS rocky, bouncing between passionate lust and abusive destruction.  In her signature episode of the Batman animate series 'Mad Love' her transformation from doctor to deviant revealed along side her current relationship with the Joker where cruelty is overshadowed by the Joker pushing her out the window.  Even after such an act she is still enamored with the Clown Prince of Crime, much to many's shock.

Now I know what you are probably thinking.  Patchwork?!  How could you like or even admire such a poor example for woman?  Not only is she obsessed with her abuser, but she is living a life of crime!  How could you?  Well first off, you should know something.  Many of Harley's characteristics were borrowed from Lucille Ball of the famed 'I Love Lucy' television show.  The creators of Harley even said that the only person they could see playing Harley is Lucille Ball herself.  I grew up watching Lucy and she helped me develop the type of comedic acting I fall so naturally into today.  I would love the chance to play some as menacing yet hilarious as Harley in an attempt to reach my comedy roots.

Secondly, Harley may be obsessed with the Joker but she knows how to hold her own.  Her personality shines through and dominates any episode she's in.  She has that upbeat, silly attitude that makes her hard not to love.  Several episodes of Batman show her performing her own schemes, minus her lover.  She even teams up with Poison Ivy to embark upon her own heists!

Thirdly, as much as I love Poison Ivy, I identify with Harley Quinn more.  Poison Ivy is the lady I wish I could be.  She is confident, knows her desires, and will stop at nothing to follow her passion.  Harley is a wondering soul.  She never really knows what she wants and is usually seeking someones validation to help her know she's doing the right thing.  She goes off and succeeds but often reaches out to Ivy or the Joker to help her see that what she did was a job well done.  You're always rooting for her to break free and be her own person because anyone watching can see that she is more than smart enough to be her own person, not just a sidekick.  I've never been great at picking men or having confidence, so when I see Harley's struggle, I can relate.  Her optimism the whole way through makes a gal feel like with a bit of humor and some classic wit, she can get through anything.

There are many versions of Harley that have popped up over the years in both video games and television alike.  I had greatly hoped that the Batman movies of recent years would finally put her to the big screen, but alas that is still just a dream.  Consider this and introduction to the lady I love, but not our final visit.  Perhaps I will take a closer look at all of her forms in the future.  For now, puddin' please enjoy this look at her adorably dark sense of humor!

Babbles of a Fangirl - My Zombie Survival Guide

It is officially the most bewitching month of the year (and my personal favorite!) and what better way to celebrate the darkest days of the damned then with a good old babble about something truly horrifying....

MY FAVORITE DISNEY PRINCESSES!!!!

I kid, I kid....but you have to admit....I had you pretty scared!  Today we are going to explore something that has fascinated me for quite sometime....zombies.  

Back of the beginning of the year some of you might recall that I started playing 'The Walking Dead' video game and much to my shock....I fell in love with it.  I was going to write a whole months worth of diaries detailing the lessons I learned as a gamer.  Sadly that saga was lost the the murky swamp that was my former, soul sucking job.  I'm happy to report that I am in a new, equally soul sucking job that too keeps me away from all of you, but at least involves a lot less backless dresses and cigarette smoke (If you can guess what I used to do...and no it's not the obvious....I will let you pick the next blog topic).  Long story short, I owe you all a babble or two about zombies and what better month than the one that hosts Halloween?  So lets go!  Here is my zombie survival guide.  

1. Lose your FABULOUS ---- CHECK!

Confused already?  You need to get creative to get out of your zombie stuffed suburb and into the wilderness (I will explain that more in a later step) so the first thing you need to do is find anything you happen to have on your mid-out break to save your life.  If you are me it will probably all start in the middle of the work day.  You're thinking that not making your completely painful call goal of a 110 calls a day is going to be the most monumental thing that happen in your day, when suddenly....you see out your office window the hoards of zombies beginning to gather.  You need to get out of that building and you only have what on you to do so.  First thing, the heels are gone.  I'd rather be barefoot is this society of the damned than tromping in those walking trip traps.  A heel is a great way to bash an on coming zombies head.  Lose the jewelry too.  Those chunky necklaces you bought from Forever 21 for only $4.00 is a choking trap waiting to happen.  Pocket them...you might be able to scrap it for parts later, and push on.  Find a way to convert that restricting pencil skit into and easy moving pair of shorts and you are on your way.  Find the first REI and get bundled up because your next step is to....

2. Live in a icebox ----CHECK!

If you are from a state as frozen as the one I live in you will quickly find out that winter might cause your butt checks to freeze together, but it's a pretty useful tool in zombie survival.  Imagine it, all of the slow, sloshing along zombies are slowly met with a harsh chill that eases from slowing them down to flat our freezing them in their labored steps.  BAM!  Winter might suck due to the lack of heat caused by all of the electricity going out, but if you bundle up in you warmest pair of long underwear you will be bashing zombie popsicles the same way drunk, rednecks noodle fish from the river.

I'm serious....this noodling this is real.

The opportunity to reduce the zombie population significantly by spring aside, winter provides a great chance to save energy that will be needed when the weather warms up.  You will have more chance to improve shelters and find seclusion...which brings us to the next step to survival....

3. Become one with nature----CHECK!

Want to avoid becoming brain bait?  How about we get as far away from the cities as possible.  Cities provide more people, which means more chances for someone to kick the bucket and turn in a flesh eating nightmare.  The farther you are from crowds, the farther you are from the zombies main food source.  Sure there might be the wandering zombie in the middle of nowhere, starved and ready for a bit, but it's weakened defenses will give you a better chance of fighting it off.  Which brings me to my final tip.

4. The buddy system----CHECK!

Sure there is strength in numbers, more defenses and more ground can be covered for the things you will need to keep alive.  On the other hand, there is also strength is solitude, less people to worry about and all of the resources become yours. I prefer the buddy system.  If zombies are attacking you find your buddy and you stick with them!  You won't have to keep track of a high head count and you wont have to sleep with both eyes open and your fists wrapped around that shovel you named Smithy and talk to for advice on why the trees are staring at you.  You will have a rock.  In the wild morning doves mate for life.  Once they meet their mate they stick with them until it's the end.  A zombie survivalist must do the same.  A zombie survivalist must embrace their inner morning dove.  There you go....you probably never thought the words zombie and morning dove could be used in the same sentence with out involving decapitation or eating.  That's why you need to heed my advice on how to survive the zombie apocalypse.  It might not be the most clever or detailed, but it's just crazy enough to work!

Trust me...I will have more tips and tricks coming soon, but for now I hope you enjoyed my ideas!  Now excuse me....I need to get my glitter....more on that later ;)

Tootles!  

My Little Fan Fiction - Godzilla Comes to Ponyville!

So as many of you have noticed, I have developed quite the habit of constantly being on hiatus from my blog and my followers. Why?  Well for all of the wrong reasons.  It feels lazy to say I'm tired, cliched to say I'm busy, and annoying to say I've been having a lot of "life" happening as of late. But dang-it, those are the main cards I have to play with right now.  I wish I had a little more time to really do everything with this blog that I dream of doing.  I wish I had time for a lot of the projects I have brewing in my brain.  Hopefully things will start to slow down and I can finally reach out to all of you as often as I would like.  With that said, thank you to everyone who is continuing to come back and take a look around.  Your patience, encouragement, and input means the world to me!

Now, my epic attempt at a terrible fan fiction, because of this discussion:

What better reason could I have?  Only thing is, I want to see if you guys enjoy this before I really get lost in my dedication.  So this is an incomplete story.  If you want me to keep going and write the next part than write it in the comments below.  I really need your opinions! So here we go!  We shall now begin with my very first part of my very first fan fiction!  Gather around boys and girls because today's story is,

"Godzilla Comes to Ponyville" 

By: Mother Patches <3

It was a splendidly crisp day outside Fluttershy's cottage.  The trees were beginning to blush their copper colored faces that welcomed the traditional, though sometimes competitive, running of the leaves.  All of Ponyville would be gathering this very moment at the starting line, either to see their runners off or prepare for their own hikes through the forest.  Fluttershy, on the other-hoof had some very important business to attend to.

"Now remember, Wingston," she softly said to her pudgy robin friend, "you may not be the best flier, but you are smart.  Help your friends find their way south."  

Poor little Wingston ruffled his fluffy coat and hid beneath his twitchy wings.  Faint peep-peeps came from beneath his feathers.  Fluttershy simply smiled and nuzzled her nose against his little head.  "Now there, there Wingston.  You can't always be scared."  She gave him a light nudge.  "You will be wonderful if you just try." The bird popped out from beneath his feathers to smile at her. He looked over his shoulder at all the other bird, feathers every color of a sonic rainboom, ready to take off.  He looked back at Fluttershy, frowning.

"Go on!"  She cheered.  

Wingston whistled a happy tune and fluttered off, leaving the pale yellow pony smiling.  "He was very brave today, wasn't he Angel?"

Angel, Fluttershy's pet bunny was lolling in the planter box outside of Fluttershy's cottage, poking bits of yellowing grass between his buck teeth.  He flicked a blade into Fluttershy's hair and closed his eyes.

"Oh you're right, Angel.  It is your nap time!"  Fluttershy backed away from the bunny quietly.  "I will just follow the birds to the top of the hill.  It won't take long."

"La, la, la!" Fluttershy sang to herself as she pranced to the top of the hill.  The sky was a beautiful clear blue.  Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy's good friend, had been sure to clear the sky for all of her birdy friends before going off to the running of the leaves.  From atop the hill Fluttershy could see all of Ponyville.  Twilight Sparkle's beloved library, Carousel Boutique, Sugarcube Corner, even Sweet Apple Acres were all in her view.  She nearly lost her breath at the beauty of all the trees, still the color of magnificent fire.  She could watch the branches sway for hours.  She loved the scarlets,  pale oranges, and golden yellows.  

"It really does look like fire!"  She said to herself.  Fluttershy took in another deep breath of fall air.  She stopped halfway to cough.  "Oh no!"  She exclaimed.  "The trees really are on fire!"

End of part one....

The Most Inspiring Thing I've Seen in Years - Miley Cyrus of 'We Can't Stop' at the VMAs

I know I made a promise to one of my fellow blogger's that I would write about a requested topic (and trust me that draft is underway) but there was something far too urgent for me to wait to write about.  This morning I was checking my email (as I often do as part of my lazy day ritual) and my concerns were more focused on if an order of deliciously discounted clothes I had purchased and if the package was going to finally arrive today.  Suddenly, as I clicked to logout out of my email, I was flooded with yahoo news declaring that Miley Cyrus had put on a more shocking performance at this years VMAs than even Lady Gaga had turned out.  I, being a curious glutton for punishment decided to embark on an epic quest to see how batty they former Disney brat had decided to swing.  Now keep in mind that I am pretty much disconnected from pop culture and more specifically MTV.  I don't watch cable, I've never seen Jersey Shore (because it will probably make me eat a cyanide cupcake), and my favorite bands are Coheed and Cambria, My Chemical Romance, In This Moment, Nine Inch Nails, and Mars Volta.  I'm not MTVs target audience.  So going into this viewing I knew this wouldn't be for me.  I expected to be outraged, offended, screaming feminist rants, and demanding a refund to my eyes and eyes.  But do you know what....

It was the most inspiring thing I've seen in a very long time. 

Part of why I haven't been writing on this blog is because I have had a wicked case of writers block.  It has been so severe that I find myself either crying or silently raging in frustration.  This has now finally changed.  After watching Miley stick out her tongue out multiple times in a obvious I'm-trying-waaaaay-too-hard fashion, bears dance for no purpose, and a former Disney star stick her face in someone's ass like it was a bouquet of roses, I have become inspired.  I have found my muse. I know what I must do and I want you to see what you must do as well.  

Now I know what you're thinking: "She wants us to protest this!  She wants us to take to the streets, protesting everything this performance stands for!  We need to promote being smart so our little girls don't grow up like this!" and sure those are all fine and dandy thoughts, but there is something more urgent we need to do.  

I am asking you to keep trying.

I can here the collective "HUH?  That's IT!?" Yes, my request is as simple as that.  We need to keep trying.  

At first when I saw Miley come out, tongue lolling out and about, I wanted to give up.  "What's the point in even trying to make art when half-baked-cash grab-shock-for-effect-pieces-of-dung like this are what we as Americans highlight in our society?  Why should I ever both to try and write a beautiful poem or insightful article when they will always been highly overlooked so that pieces of fleshy trash like this can shine?"  But you know what?  I kept thinking (as sane people should try and do in times like these) and I realized "This is why I should keep writing."  And this is why all artists should keep doing what they love."  It’s not from the standpoint that I don't even have to try to be famous or successful!  No.  Artists should do what they love because every-so-often there is someone who looks at the VMAs and goes, "This isn't for me," It's like I said before, I am not the audience for this performance.  This wasn't made to please me.  Something about this has made some people happy, but there are still plenty of other people that I can make happy too.

That is why Miley Cyrus’s performance is inspiring. If you keep you objective goggles on something can make you hate it but still have a positive impact on you.  

Perhaps this is a bit about optimism too.  I certainly have been afraid before that my own writing is pointless because it’s not changing the world. I realize now though that when we reach out to the world chances are there are few people our art will impact.  I know my blog is never going to reach the fame of Miley Cyrus, the VMAs, or any major pop culture sensation, but I have my few faithful followers that I know enjoy reading my work.  Honestly, that is all I need.

I once heard someone say that art is not done to please the artist, but to please the audience.  If Miley Cyrus is what pleases you, then by all means, keep reaching out to see and hear her art (yes I will use the word art).  Art makes an impact on the individuals who views it and Miley Cyrus's performance sure impacted me.  It reminded me that there is an audience for everything and even though I may never become famous or leave as large of an impact as I hope to, at least I managed to make a few people happy along the way.  I hope you too will be just as inspired as I am.  Keep trying, guys and gals, keep trying.

You're art means more than you'll ever know.

Tootles <3

P.S. Here is the performance if you want to watch.